Righter-than-right-wing Republican senator/nemesis from the otherwise glorious state of NC, Jesse Helms, attended his first everrock concert in Charlotte last week ñ and let me just say that it is absolutely ungodly. Anyonewho is going to their first rock concert at age 80-something cannot represent me anywhere, anytime ever ever. Anyway, U2 was the lucky band to score and pop the ole cherry for Senator Helms. He and Bono are acquaintances through the Jubilee 2000 campaign, which explains the strange tie. Helms told the local Charlotte daily that he absolutely loved the show - "It was the noisiest thing I ever heard. I turned my hearing aids all the way down and kept my hands over my ears much of the time." He also rhapsodized over how the crowd moved "back and forth like corn in the breeze." Rock it, Jesse - maybe there's still hope for him.