High Times magazine has an awards ceremony now? And it’s called the Doobie Awards for Conscious Music? Is someone kidding? Are they just handing out awards ceremonies in some government building and whomever wants one only need line up? And conscious? Barely-conscious, maybe. Anyway…the 3rd annual award ceremony will take place at the B.B. King’s Blues Club in New York City on September 25, according to Billboard, and has about 73 different categories, including band of the year, “Pot Song of the year,” stoner rock album of the year, and most conscious album of the year. Some of the bands up for awards (Tenacious D, Queens Of The Stone Age,Cypress Hill) make some sense, but if I were still an industrial-strength burner, I’m not so sure bands like Tool, Nickleback, Puddle of Mudd, and 3rd Strike would make it onto my CD player. And since when is Kim Deal, Norah Jones or …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead stoner music? I think someone had reached diminishing marginal utility of bongage when they made up this list. To top it off, the event is being hosted by “Fear Factor”‘s Joe Rogan, so you can expect that some nominee will be forced to eat 17 spoonfuls of maggots before winning their prize.

The 2002 High Times Doobie Awards for Conscious Music nominations in full:

Band of the year:

Dave Matthews Band
Nickelback
The Strokes
Tenacious D
Tool

Pot song of the year:

Fieldy – “Are You Talking to Me”

Weezer – “Dope Nose”

Sean Paul – “Gimme the Light”

Styles – “Good Times”

Black Moon – “High Times”

Female artist of the year:

Kim Deal (the Breeders)
Ani DiFranco
Norah Jones
Shannon McNally
Michelle Shocked

Best rock album/established band:

Incubus – Morning View

New Found Glory – Sticks and Stones

Nickelback – Silver Side Up

Oasis – Heathen Chemistry

Queens Of The Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf

Best rock album/new band:

Hoobastank – Hoobastank

Puddle Of Mudd – Come Clean

Superjoint Ritual – Use Once and Destroy

…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead – Source Tags & Codes

the Vines – Highly Evolved

Best hip-hop album:

Cypress Hill – Stoned Raiders

De La Soul – Bionix

Dilated Peoples – Expansion Team

Kottonmouth Kings – Hidden Stash II

ha Liks – X.O. Experience

Best jam-band album:

Trey Anastasio – Trey Anastasio

Gov’t Mule – The Deep End, Vol. 1

Robert Randolph & the Family Band – Live at Wetlands

Phil Lesh & Friends – There and Back Again

Keller Williams – Laugh

Best reggae album:

Beenie Man – Tropical Storm

Everton Blender – Visionary

Bounty Killer – Ghetto Dictionary

Capleton – Still Blazin’?

John Brown’s Body – Spirits All Around Us

Best jazz album:

Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe – The Bridge

Lettuce – Outta Here

Medeski Martin & Wood – Uninvisible

Soulive – Next

Robert Walter – There Goes the Neighborhood

Best dance album:

Aphrodite – Aftershock

Chemical Brothers – Come With Us

Badorb.com – Bless You

Gorillaz – G-Sides

Layo & Bushwacka! – Night Works

Best stoner rock album:

Electric Wizard – Let Us Pray

Hermano – Only a Suggestion

High On Fire – Surrounded by Thieves

Nebula – Dos EPs

Orange Goblin – Coup de Grace

Most conscious album:

Afu-Ra – Life Force Radio

Bhagavan Das – Now

System of a Down – Toxicity

3rd Strike – Lost Angel

John Trudell – Bone Days

Best soundtrack album:

Chelsea Walls
How High
1 Giant Leap
24 Hour Party People
Y Tu Mama Tambien