GNR Tour Inexplicably Cancelled, Jeremy P. Goldstein Wins Office Pool





After canceling gigs in Philadelphia on Friday (December 6) and in Wilkes Barre, PA, last night (December 8), Guns 'N' Roses have decided to go ahead and scrap the remainder of the tour altogether. The 34-date trek has been riddled with problems from the beginning, as the scheduled tour launch on November 7 in Vancouver was cancelled at the last minute, causing fans to riot and giving Vancouver police a chance to get some practice with their pepper spray and riot clubs. According to MTV, a spokesperson at Interscope offered no explanation for the tour cancellation, but thankfully I have compiled some possible reasons:

1. Axl Rose is having trouble doing his signature dance with the extra 150lbs he's put on since his last tour. 2. Axl killed the plastic surgeon that horribly botched his facelift and is currently on his way to the Island of Doctor Moreau in hopes finding companionship with other terribly disfigured creatures. 3. He finally realized that calling a bunch of random musicians Guns 'N' Roses wasn't fooling anybody. We'll let you know when the actual reason for the tour cancellation is finally announced.




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GNR Tour Inexplicably Cancelled, Jeremy P. Goldstein Wins Office Pool