Few glories can rival the glittery, blank-faced Euroboy segueing from the opening bars of "Sweet Child O' Mine" to "Bad Mongo" from Ass Cobra while the delightful and hirsute Hank Von Helvete shimmied like Axl Rose. Except maybe Hank's bosom jiggling "Flashdance" number. Or when Euroboy rode around the stage on Pal Pot Pamparius' shoulders as a roadie placed a filthy white Apocalypse Dudes-era cowboy hat on his head for "Prince of the Rodeo."
Seeing Turbonegro last night at the Bowery Ballroom in one fell swoop erased the many depressing Turbonegro-related incidents that have plagued me for years. First, of course, the band breaking up. Then there was my shamefully ill-received "Zillion Dollar Sadist" Halloween costume from 2000. And when my mailbox was broken into and the TN pins my friend Carrie sent me for Christmas were stolen (and you know the thief didn't appreciate deathpunk as much as me.)
Sunday night at the Mercury Lounge represented the lowest of the low. Two songs in and at the conclusion of a request from Hank not to throw things at him, a bottle hit him in the head. After standing stunned while blood dripped down the left side of his neck, he left for the hospital. The evening ended as I pathetically sat brooding in my apartment listening to Apocalypse Dudes on vinyl wearing my new Turbojugend t-shirt and an excessive quantity of black eyeliner.
From the opening strains of "The Age of Pamparius" to the crowd's chants of "I Got Erection" for an encore, last night's show was stunning. Euroboy wore a black fur pillbox hat and jaunty flower - Hank had a denim and white fur cape and girth-taut Levi's Type One. Hank managed to incorporate both the song titles "Selfdestructo Bust" and "Good Head" in relation to the Sunday night wound - and told a mystifying rock-parable about feeding his dolphin worms and teaching it to say "tit" as a lead in to "Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker."
As the least likely Norwegian Levi's spokesmodels with the most bizarre homoerotic pantomimes, few bands are as whimsical and brutal as Turbonegro. Though the famed "ass rocket" failed to make an appearance at the shows, no one rocks harder, especially against ass.
Source: Anne Brazeal