No More Rock & Roll In NFL Land For Fear Of Naked Breasts





"We will not have a concert," NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue told NFL owners last month. The past two years, the NFL has held an opening-game kick off concert prior to the Thursday night game that jump starts the NFL regular season. Two years ago, Bon Jovi held a concert in Times Square. Last year, the opener was in Washington and more that 100,000 people braved rainy weather to rock out with Britney Spears, Aerosmith and Aretha Franklin. This year however, there will be no big kick-off jamboree. Fear of another horrifying, life-changing, shamefully arousing breast exposure on national TV has put a halt on any and all NFL-affiliated rock concerts.


NFL Spokesperson Greg Aiello said that there may be a different sort of event to coincide with the game that might include musical entertainment. Maybe Barney will sing his smash hit "Me And My Teddy," or perhaps to garner favor with the elderly, a swinging performance by the Glen Miller Tribute Band might be on tap.

Well, at least Michael Vick is healthy this year.




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No More Rock & Roll In NFL Land For Fear Of Naked Breasts