The Dave Matthews Band is being sued by the state of Illinois to the tune of $70,000 for allegedly dumping up to 800 pounds of liquid human waste into the Chicago River. Sure, that’s pretty bad, but for those that have seen it, the Chicago river is quite dirty anyway. However, it gets worse. The majority of the waste made a pit stop on its way to landing in the river – a tour boat filled with passengers. That’s right, a boat load of more than 100 people literally got pissed on by Dave Matthews, Boyd Tinsley, the sax player guy who always wears sun glasses, and the rest of the DMB crew. According to CNN, Illinois Attorney General Lisa Matigan says that no one on the boat was seriously injured. She obviously doesn’t consider a lifetime of horrific excrement related nightmares to be an injury, but I beg to differ.
The driver of the bus, who allegedly dumped 800 pounds of pee through the metal grating of the Kinzie Street bridge onto 100 innocent people enjoying a boat ride, claims that he “was not involved in this incident.” Maybe aliens did it, or bigfoot.