For those looking to singles sales as baromter for how things are going, I have bad news and worse news. First off the bad news. It seems the UK is setting a 35 year low for sales of a single that went to the top of the charts this past Sunday. The lowest-ever weekly sales record went to "Call On Me" by Eric Prydz which sold just 23,519 copies. That's the smallest sale to get to No1 since chart statistics began in 1969, reports The Sun. Prydz had spent three weeks in the top spot before Robbie Williams went to No1 last week. By returning to the top, the Swedish DJ has beaten Daniel Bedingfield's unwanted record. Bedingfield's "Gotta Get Through This" sold just 25,354 when it got back to No1 in the week after Christmas in 2001.
In contrast, the biggest single week sales record goes Elton John's "Candle In The Wind" sold 3.4million in a week in 1997.
Now the worse news. What do record labels do to thwart the slump in singles sales? They sign talentless C-level celebrities who only distract their staff with mindless objectives and completely ruin credibility and suck time away from worthy artists. William Hung, Lindsey Lohan and Kelly Osbourne all take a back seat to Warner Brothers recent signing, Paris Hilton. Some say sucking and blowing has been achieved, pun intended. Her first single will be the oh-so-clever "Screwed". Get it? Because she bangs everyone. I was hoping the nuance to that wasn't lost on you. Possible other subtle innuendos-as-titles include "Yo, Turn Your Cell Phone Off While Banging" and "Night Vision On Your Camcorder Is Great For Making Homemade Sex Films".
Can't wait for the genius video that will go along with this.