President Chimp For Real Says Sting

Too bad Bush doesn't know who you are, where you are from and probably thinks you are French, but Tantric sex machine Sting says he would rather see "a chimp" in the White House than George W. Bush. Speaking to the German Welt am Sonntag newspaper, the former Police front man said he would "rather vote for a chimpanzee than Bush" if he had the chance to vote on November 2.

Sting said a politician should be able to think and express himself, and he added he saw "no sign" that Mr Bush was capable of either.

Only if the chimp could start a costlier war, kill more non-Americans [or as they are conveniently called "insurgents"], alienate more global friends, give bigger tax breaks to more privileged croonies, run bigger budget and trade deficits and fiscally devastate medicare and social security, take away more liberties, reverse more environmental laws, make more hypocritical statements about importing medicines, pick and choose fewer rights for women, children and gays, flip-flop on using booze and cocaine, all the while having the hardest working people, the lowest sustained interest rates ever, a Republican congress stacked in your favor and a post-911 good will from all corners of the world, manage to create no jobs, have gas hit all time highs, turn a blind eye on Enron and Worldcom, convict absolutely no one for anything related to 911, take more vacations, give fewer press conferences for the media [and by extension, me, the common man, to explain yourself] and by no means act as our top diplomat, would Gordon Sumner vote differently.

Bush's one catastrophic success was surrounding himself with his father's dimwitted staffers who brief him with fact-less Color-forms™, but could never tell he does not read classified reports and is unable to fathom a decision process beyond "hey Dick, what do I say now". Osama who?

President Chimp For Real Says Sting