SpongeBob, Pooh, Others, Will Turn Your Children Gay

The Christian right have accused SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie The Pooh, Bob The Builder and the Rugrats of being involved in a secret plot to turn America's youth into eyebrow-trimming, designer brand name-wearing, fancy hair cut-having, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy-watching, homosexuals. How did the self-appointed protectors of America's moral integrity come to this conclusion you ask? Good question. You see, a nonprofit organization established in the aftermath of the September 11 attacks by songwriter Nile Rodgers, called the We Are Family Foundation, has produced a music video starring the previously-mentioned cartoon stars and is sending it to schools in order to encourage tolerance and diversity.

It seems the Christian right have decoded a secret message on the organization's website called the "tolerance pledge." In said pledge, it asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.

"Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity' within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary, but it crosses a moral line," James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement released Thursday.

Nile Rodgers, mastermind of the secret "turn America's youth gay" initiative, pretended to be shocked when Reuters confronted him with the accusations. "That is so myopic and harsh," he said. "You have really got to look hard to find anything in this that is offensive to anyone. The last thing I am going to do is taint these characters." Nice try Nile, but it's common knowledge that SpongeBob is a gay. We all remember the barrage of US media coverage in 2002 reporting that SpongeBob was a hit in gay community. Could it be a mere coincidence that he is now at the forefront of this evil scheme? I think not.

So parents, whatever you do, keep your children away from SpongeBob, Winnie The Pooh, Bob The Builder and the Rugrats. They are out to teach your kids about acceptance and compassion for ALL people, and everyone knows that only upper middle class white Christians reserve the right to decide who is deserving of acceptance and compassion.

SpongeBob, Pooh, Others, Will Turn Your Children Gay