User Forum: Open Letter To The Filmmakers Of The Dukes Of Hazzard

“From all I have seen and heard, the ‘Dukes’ movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ for so long.”

These are not the words of some obsessed Tom Wopat fan in desperate need of a girlfriend and exercise. No, these are the words of none other than Ben Jones a.k.a ‘CRAZY COOTER’. I don’t think you got that. “CRAZY motherfuckin COOTER” is calling this… ahem ‘film’ an INSULT. Furthermore, he’s encouraging fans of the show to boycott the… ahem… ‘film’ (I’m just going to call it a movie so I don’t have put film in quotes every time I type it). Perhaps you are not familiar with Crazy Cooter. If so, just stop reading now. I don’t have time for you. But any 34 year old that once spent Friday nights glued to the TV waiting for Waylon Jennings to croon “JUSTA GOOD OLD BOYS…” knows damn well who CRAZY COOTER is.

When Bo and Luke needed a strategic traffic jam to ditch Roscoe P. Coltrane, it was CRAZY motherfuckin’ COOTER who pulled his tow truck onto Hazzard’s main drag. When Bo and Luke were framed for the robbery of $3 million in fake gold bars by Texas con men, it was CRAZY motherfuckin’ COOTER who broke them out of the lock up long enough to prove their innocence. When Bo and Luke…ok you get it.

Now, the same Crazy Cooter is asking fans of the show to stay away from the movie.

Read his entire treatise here

Cynics may opine that Crazy Cooter is just pissed because they cut his part from the film.

Perhaps he is angry that he wasn’t even offered a cameo or that the Dukes’ official Warner Bros. movie site has usurped the number one search spot on Google from his own site, www.cootersplace.com. Frankly, I DON’T CARE WHY. You see, I trust Crazy Cooter, he’s good honest folk. He’s a mechanic that won’t charge you for a new carb when he just changed a plug. On the other hand, I don’t trust Johnny Knoxville, Sean Michael St. Vincent Williams Scott, or that harlot flesh peddling skank Jessica Simpson. Burt Reynolds will shill anything for a buck and clearly Willie Nelson is higher than the General Lee flyin’ over a crick. These people are just like the shady out of towners that come to Hazard county tryin’ to rip off the local bumpkins with some classless bait and switch scam. The irony that these Hollywood CARPET BAGGERS are playing the virtuous Duke family in the movie is thicker than Enos Strate in an advanced calculus class. There’s only one possible way anyone involved with this film can ever be redeemed in my eyes. Replace the General Lee’s trademark rooftop flag with a big white X on a solid black background.

Yee Haw!

Source: Randy Scope | Tripwire User (pooty8@yahoo.com)

POSTED August 4, 2005 12:00AM IN THE TRIPWIRE Comments (1)

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