Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe not, but yesterday I received a pair of emails both dealing with that budding green utilitarian plant known to the masses as pot, ganja, weed, dope, marijuana, etc. You've all heard the stories that our founding fathers used to grow it, singing its praises for the strength and durability of its derivative fiber (hemp), but you're probably more acquainted with the part of the plant that gets rolled up into joints, packed into bowls or ripped out of bongs. Maybe you started smoking it in college but grew out of it, chalking it up as a "phase". Or maybe you still smoke some here and there to chill out, to turn a funny movie into a hilarious one, or to make your favorite album sound 100 times better. Either way, I'm not judging. But you all know those few people out there, maybe they're friends of yours, who actually define the words "pot head" and "burn out". Well the two emails I mentioned in the first sentence of this paragraph both describe men who, it's safe to say, might want to consider cutting back on their daily pot intake. Here goes:
Earlier this month, and Illinois man called 911 to report a robbery. He was drunk at the time, which shouldn't be too much of a problem, but the fact that the stolen items were his pot plants... that, uh, turned out to be a problem. The cops were dispatched and when they arrived at the house of Anthony R. Martin, the dumbass told the fuzz something along the lines of "that bitch next door stole my pot plants." Apparently, he had not sobered up yet. He then led the officer to where the plants used to be, but to Martin's surprise, they had magically reappeared. The officer promptly arrested the 52-year old man for possession and cultivation of marijuana, as well as for two outstanding misdemeanor warrants. Oops.
Lesson learned: Don't call the cops when you're drunk to report the robbery of an illegal substance, especially if you have outstanding warrants.
There's currently an auction up on eBay being billed as "The Ultimate Hippie Vacation." If this is real, and it appears to be, this one really takes the cake. Apparently this guy's crazy brother-in-law, Cody, has parked a big hippie bus in his back yard and is currently living there. When Cody boasted to his brother-in-law that he could take anyone on the "ultimate hippie vacation", a light bulb went off and off to his computer he ran. The rules of the trip are these:
1. You will be required to sell Tie-dyed T-shirts for gas and food money.
2. There is no map on the bus and he WILL get lost.
3. Stuff Happens! (And you know what I mean!)
4. If the bus blows up, he has a tent.
5. You must provide your own bail money. (Please see rule 3)
6. He will provide "the most craziest vacation you will never forget!"
On it's own, this sounds only mildly funny. But when you go to the auction page, the photos and descriptions of Cody are hilarious. With four days left in the auction, there have been 57 bids. The current high bid is $661.22. Seriously. Take a second to check it out here.
Lesson learned: Smoking too much pot can make you crazy and make your family members hate your guts.