I Declare War

So Takeover 2005 was more like a sing-a-long. That's cool and all, but Jigga has always said that magazines use artists like him to sell ads, and everyone knows controversy sells magazines, and everyone knows that we're a magazine, and if Jay-Z's not making any controversies than what are we going to do? We're going to bum a news story from our British friends!


The Kaiser Chiefs, who previously thought it'd be cool to argue about technicalities re: Antony and the Mercury Prize (isn't it un-indie to care about an award?!), are now officially beefing with the kiddies in the Arctic Monkeys. Apparently the Monkeys don't like being compared to the Chiefs - but then again that's not really up to them now is it? We think the Monkeys should holler at Kay Slay and maybe get on a couple mixtapes throwing some nice freestyle barbs. We can hook up the Miami Kaos cover art. Then the Kaiser Chiefs should play a big radio show and throw pictures up on the Jumbotron of the Monkeys in their grammar school Halloween costumes. Then at least one person associated with one of the bands should get jumped, maybe get his belt buckle snatched (what is the indie equivalent of a chain? A vintage blazer? A favorite scarf?). We'll host the surprise, beef-squashing concert in October of 2008, probably at the North Star in Philly.

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I Declare War