Ok it’s not that we’re actually factually checking the NYT style pages for the hottest looks on the street (Dear Ellen Tien: froggy galoshes for adults? Someone send this chick a relief pitcher and get her out of the game) but today’s proclamation that beards are the new black had us scratching our occasionally follicly-enhanced chins extra specially hard. Brothers and sisters, have we not been banging on about beards for the better part of two years? Not that we don’t respect the dudes at Vice who are opting for shaggy chins but like, talk to your man Devendra! Send a fax to your boy Pink Mountaintops! Speed dial your friend Brian Degraw! FedEx all of Montreal! There is a category of humans that some of us (ok, all of us) have winkingly referred to as “beardos” — don’t pretend that this is the first time the tradewinds have blown in news of the unshaven leading the style pack. Protect/respect the beardo!