At 6:10am today (Thursday, April 12, 2007), I fired off an email to Jason Anfinsen explaining that I was holding back his story regarding Don Imusbeagoddamnidiottopissthatmuchmoneyaway and the rest of the funky bunch. It wasn’t because I didn’t agree with his stance (truthfully I don’t). It was mainly because our site has been staying away from some of those off-color issues that get played out way too often in the public forum.
In order to help this stupid rant along, there’s some necessary background that needs to be unearthed. You see, I have a relationship with Jason. No not like that. Although I think he has a secret man-crush on me. Heck, I’ve known the kidd since he was 17. This relationship is like a big brother something or other. I talk to his parents. I advise him on his personal life situations. I sometimes lend a helping idea or two to his career building. Blah blah blah. He is the same jag I met that very first day thirteen years later, only older and somewhat wiser or maybe cunning (haha).
Anyway back to my issue. I worked in broadcasting since 1987. I know what freedom of speech means. I also know how dickheads abuse their right to this freebie. How easy it is to cry your rights to the press, ultimately making bank from it. Don’t make me get that soapbox out. I hate writing and this is already becoming too long for my liking.
Well, what ensued in my office space after sending that email to Jason was fucking ridiculous. For three continuous hours, Jason Anfinsen had it out for me and my decision making. Oh it started as a casual dispute but then launched into two very excruciatingly long iChat attacks and one yelling match on the phone. I don’t think either of us heard what the other was saying. Click! kinda shit.
Long story short, more people got involved, the issue became more personal and now I am inspired to write for the site at this very moment in time. Let it be known that I have NEVER written a single word on the TRIP. Don’t proof me! It probably shows. Like I said I hate writing, but I am one of the creators linked to developing this trainwreck, we fondly call The Tripwire, 8 years ago. So, I guess I should be guilted to write something at some point even if it takes multiple years to do it.
Wait for it…
The final judgment just rang down. Mark it 4:00pm CST (because I’m in Chicago that’s why). You can hear the death bells tolling like in your favorite metal classic – AC/DC, Metallica, Iron Maiden. BONG…BONG…BONG. That’s the sound I am trying to describe, not the action chant of your friends cheering you on to take another hit off the water pipe, all while listening to the aforementioned metal madness. That’s it. Imus’ head just rolled off the CBS chopping block. President and Chief Executive Officer of CBS, Leslie Moonves, just boxed up the bloody mess – cowboy hat included. Now Imus will most likely collect dust on a shelving unit in the annals of American Broadcast history forever. Never to be heard from again.
So where do we stand?
I don’t know. I sorta don’t give a flying fuck. That’s why you’re here. This story is played out. That little inspiration that I felt 100+ words ago is starting to diminish.
Before I leave to down another pot of coffee (caffeine headaches are a bitch), I will leave you with Jason’s Imus piece. At this point it becomes a rubbernecking incident.
Was I wrong for holding it back? Do you want to see more of us sharing our opinions on this site – more editorial if you will? You tell me.
I know another thing about Jason – he uses the word douche bag way too often. Does he even know what a douche bag is? Seriously. I think the majority of people that like to use that term are horribly misinformed. And they are stupid guys. Maybe that can be another post for me…???
Well thanks for reading. Was it worth it? We’ll see. If anything, I’ll try to chalk this writing experience up as a therapeutic exercise. BECAUSE I HATE WRITING!
Don Imus Is A Douchebag
By Jason Anfinsen
The first thing that I learned at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting in the fall of 1994 was this: Don Imus is a douchebag. Now, almost an unlucky thirteen years later, the leather faced fool has backed himself into a corner that his insipid mouth cannot talk himself out of. The 66-year old relic became the new focal point of our national news media this week while candidly referring to African-American females of the Rutgers University basketball team as “Nappy headed hos”. Matee Ajavon, a junior guard for the Cinderella squad who fell short to the lady vols of Tennessee in Tuesday’s NCAA championship game, said that “I think that this [Imus' remarks] has scarred me for life.” The out-of-date broadcaster has since issued an apology that like most of his skits and bits, have fallen flat on deaf ears. The country is fuming over the remarks and everyone is calling for the fossil head of Imus as if he were Saddam Hussein. Big time spenders like Staples Inc., Procter & Gamble, and American Express have stopped advertising on the “Imus In The Morning” Show while MSNBC straight yanked the daily simulcast from their news waves. Imus’ future with the CBS corporation still remains uncertain, but odds makers in vegas are laying down the farm that the big eye in the sky will snuff the voice of the elderly coot in these next fateful weeks.
To add salt and a squeeze of lime onto the wound, another radio fart-blower was fired from his gig in Pennsylvania when he made listeners call in and say the phrase that pays. At least three contestants said “I’m a nappy headed ho” on the air during Gary Smith’s morning fun zone bonanza on WSBG-fm and were awarded free tickets for a NASCAR promotion. This dude didn’t even say the phrase that pays, but because everyone in this bloody country has a backbone like glass, executive vice president of station owner Nassau Broadcasting Partners L.P. Rick Musselman, let Gary Smith go. And no, no one ever heard of Gary Smith in the morning, the station only broadcasts on a 3,000 watt signal in the middle of cow-pie Pennsylvania, 40 miles northeast of Allentown, but even in smaller towns such as Stroudsburg, tensions are higher than Chong on the day of his parole.
This is just another high saturated heap of fried lard for America to gorge their fat faces with and I certainly don’t hope that the FCC sticks their slimy beaks into this mess. If you don’t like Imus you are not alone. But can you admit to yourself, as if the beholder of the man’s future, that he truly believed to destroy these women with his volatile verbiage? Did this blower of bothersome wind, a humorist crank, really, I mean really, hate these athletes so much that he premeditated this hit? Or was it simply a case of some radio buffoon babbling like he has been paid to do for nearly three thousand decades? Imus, Donnie baby, leaked a questionable remark out of his lantern jaw that we have every right to assume was not intended to ruin the lives, shatter the dreams, or cause serious pain to those individuals nor on their gender or race. Censorship should have no home in this country but the media feeds the frenzy to capture the enemy of the state, extinguish his voice, and drink the blood of the entertainment criminal.
Remember Michael Richards, who our country torched like the Blair Witch earlier this year, for his deplorable conniption of racism that erupted in a Los Angeles night club? Richards flew off the handle towards an individual who had heckled him and caused his ego pain. The “K” man launched into a ferocious tirade which revealed an unacceptable face of hate. He intentionally spat fire onto these people while continually demeaning them with the label of the N word in a pure spout of abhorrence. I do believe that Cosmo has deep rooted issues towards anyone who doesn’t look like a middle aged hipster with a haircut like Eraserhead.
Let us also not forget the nefarious remarks of NBA all-star Tim Hardaway who recently declared on a national sports radio program that he “hates gay people.” Hardaway, who always did have a horrible knuckleball shot, apologized after numerous gay and lesbian activists criticized his hateful remarks. When offering the apology that his attorneys wrote for him, Hardaway said “It was like, you know, I had killed somebody. I never knew that this was going to escalate that high.”
And speaking of minority stars that despise other minorities, lets focus on the world’s most beloved African American homophobe, Isaiah Washington. The “star” of Grey’s Anatomy referred to his cast member T.R. Knight as a “faggot” at the Golden Globes. On national television. And to congratulate him for his achievement in advancing the human race through peace, love and kindness, the NAACP presented Washington with an Image Award only weeks after his hateful slur. And to add the cherry, ABC gave the kid a raise. Thanks Disney.
Imus, on the other hand, is a drunken cowboy who most likely didn’t even realize how severe of a slam he made. If his blood spills, then the intestines of Richards, the tongue of Hardaway, and the ankles of Washington should all be hocked off and hung in the town square for all to spit upon. It is the job of talk radio hosts to talk on the radio. Once in a while things will be said, very small things, that will end up capsizing the smooth sailing boat into a sea of blinding shit.
While not defending the douchebag, because we all know that Don Imus is one colossal bag of douche, I feel that the geriatric bastard was just gushing barrels of nonsense, like any other disc jockey since Marconi created the radio. The waking bells of change are ringing and his wrinkled bones have been asleep for far too long. His market is turning on him and worse, his audience is tuning him out. Satellite radio might not even care for his obsolete yarns. This very well could be the end of his career. But do not let them kill you old man. Stand up for yourself and defend your crackled voice. If you did wrong then you must do right, for it is your right, and the right of every citizen in the United States of America, to speak freely. This is a nation for the people, by the people, even if you say but do not truly believe, that some of those people are Nappy headed hos.