We went to see the brilliant Hot Chip a couple days ago at the Henry Fonda Theatre in Los Angeles and had big plans to talk to them the next morning, but they decided to get on a plane and go to Bonnaroo instead. So, being the plucky journalists we are, we sat down and made up an interview entirely out of nothing. Here's what they call in the industry a "pull quote":
P: very sweaty and touchy if you know what i mean
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E: What have you been thinking about since we saw them?
P: How difficult they are to schedule an interview with
P: Maybe i will play the part of the band
E: you want me to pretend to be you interviewing them?
P: yeah, but try to ask good questions instead of what i would've asked
E: ok...let me get into character
P: the one thing i can't get past is how brothel-like that LA show was
P: very sweaty and touchy if you know what i mean
P: like that place Splash on Melrose
E: people knocking into me and I was on the periphery
P: IT'S NOT JUST A PLACE TO TAKE A HOT BATH
E: and this one woman dancing behind me had all these metal bracelets on and when she would dance with her hands in the air it sounded like she
had dropped a cupboard of forks
P: i heard that
P: i thought it was someone from the kitchen
P: at least you weren't standing next to that 70s show
E: were they dancing or gabbing?
P: the one with the hair and the beard was kinda doing the Arsenio but the blonde girl was posted up on the wall
P: i think she liked it though
P: and then there were two dudes that looked like scott baio that i don't think were on the show
P: but might be like fez doubles to keep them company
P: anyway. the band didn't drink as much jagermeister at the nyc show
P: and i was up in the balcony for that one
E: jagermeister is such an odd choice to chug
P: it makes you a really good fighter though
P: and lover
P: so do you think they will make the new album sound more like the live stuff?
P: like 'my piano' is a little more jamming
P: lemme get on these snitches myspace
E: I heard that "walk you down my way" jam at Coachella, I was very happy to hear it again
E: I can't tell if I want them to put out a live album. they really next level shit live, but live albums are usually so boring
P: yeah, maybe just record the next one live?
P: a couple of those new ones also sound a lot like devo or talking heads or something
P: or ned's atomic dustbin
E: do you think they tour so much so they can meet girls?
E: are they nerds or are they not nerds?
P: i think probably
E: are they not men? or are they Hot Chip?
P: because in england the klaxons dudes probably get all the girls
P: DEVO JOKES
E: I heard the dude from Klaxons was dating one of the girls from the Pipettes
E: I may have imagined that
E: I think the Pippettes are actually in their 60s
P: and pitchfork grows a second boner because one is not enough for that news
P: why don't you think hot chip get more credit for being 'new rave' pioneers?
P: their live stuff is full-on rave
E: they don't wear ridiculous pants or sweatshirts
P: but the lead dude what's his name?
E: I believe that to be correct
P: he wears that same nike tanktop all the time
P: that's pretty ravey
P: wait a minute!
P: so does the dude from vietnam!
E: ravey gravy vs wavy gravy
P: they are also both really skinny
E: Alexis' tanktop is white, Vietnam dude's is b;black
E: they are the two parts of music's soul
P: indeed they are
E: still, I'd probably rather hang out with the dude from Nam
E: and learn about evil
P: true. and pick snacks out of his beard. do you think they throw those little references to pop songs in there to make people feel cool or smart?
P: like the new order and fleetwood mac?
P: i guess it's kind of cool but it's also very much like 'please stop'
E: I'm into it
E: it's better than wearing their t-shirts
E: or more creative at least
P: yeah, i guess it's also a good way to throw people off balance
P: like jar them out of the groove and get their attention
P: also, they are easily the most watchable nerd band out there right now. the way they all have weird little behaviors behind their synths and whatnot
E: they have tons of charisma
E: but my favorite part was when they turned all the lights in the back to the deep red, and then all the lights from dark—so it was just black on red
it looked like Rattle & Hum
P: are you saying they are the new U2?
E: not for a single second
P: why does bono get away with those orange glasses?
P: don't answer that
he doesn't deserve it
P: this is going pretty well i think
P: what else should we talk about regarding hot chip?
P: we got the jager and the tank top
P: we talked about all the humping
P: for the encore
P: do you think that was actually the balcony stomping like that or was it coming from the monitors?
P: because that shit won't fly at bonnaroo dude
P: it's all grass and dirt
P: and bare feet
P: but they should do it anyway
P: also, you were saying that you think they might be more significant in ten years than LCD Soundsystem. do you still feel that way?
E: I don't feel like they'll be more significant and just think people will think they are more intriguing
E: like they more of a puzzle
E: I mean, LCD is great, but to an extent you can understand what James Murphy is doing.
E: And he's incredibly upfront about what he's doing, both in his music and his interviews.
E: I have no idea, what Hot Chip is trying to do
E: or I can't get a bead on what their approach is
P: so do you think Hot Chip are more relevant to us scatterbrained internet people who need more going on to be intrigued?
E: it's not that deep
E: just like, at first it seemed like they were nerds who loved Prince and Yo La Tengo and dance music or whatever. Now I don't even think about or have any idea what they are into besides Jagermeister and touring
E: that doesn't make any sense
P: yeah, just thinking about it made me go to the bathroom
P: okay, now ask me a question like you are me and i am hot chip
E: do you ever sometimes accidentally play one of the other guys' keyboards and then go, "Wait! This isn't my keyboard!"
P: well, it's like this. we are really close friends and also close creative collaborators, so when we are onstage creating what we create, you know, really, deeply in the moment of that particular song, sometimes it just feels like we are all playing each other's keyboards even if we are not
P: no homo of course
E: also, if each one of you were a professional wrestler, which one would each of you be?
P: dusty rhodes, koko b. ware, ricky steamboat, jim 'the anvil' neidhart, and andy kaufman
E: I think I just got my conclusion!
P: you're welcome