“Hi miss, where are you going?” my hippie cab driver asked me as I popped into his backseat Thursday night. He was wearing a tie-dye T-shirt that somehow was collared, and giant bifocals on his nose. When I responded “8th and Brannan, please,” he asked me if I was going to “that one show” tonight; ordinarily, cabbies have no idea about my city’s social calendar, so I enthusiastically confirmed I was indeed on my way to the Concourse to watch some hot French men DJ.
“So, how long have you been into Freedom?” he inquired as we cruised down Geary. Stumped, it took me a couple of seconds before I could pin what he was referring to. I mean, I guess I’ve been into Freedom since the day I was born?
“Do you mean that band? Justice?” I asked, trying very, very hard not to stifle a laugh. I’m into Liberty, Truth, and Power too for the record, dude. The cabbie’s mistake didn’t faze him in the least when I pointed out the mix-up.
Anyway, there’s nothing like walking up to a concert with the bands’ tour vans outside screaming “MYSPACE PRESENTS” and 12 year-olds and frat boys intermingling in the smoking area. It was going to be one of those shows. Justice was playing the Concourse, a 10,000-capacity venue that reminds me of a carpeted cafeteria, but I digress. I was here to do the “D.A.N.C.E.”, because I freely admit that that was the only song I knew. (I know; I am a shitty music journalist.) Opening act Diplo had the reins of the stage when we settled in on the floor, mixing together some 90s rap that satisfied my nostalgia with more current indie favorites.
It wasn’t long before I ended up being more intrigued with the people around me than the show; I present to you the top 5 moments from the Justice/Diplo show:
1. Thai hooker – I was in the bathroom reapplying lipstick and this tall Asian woman walks in wearing a sheer bikini top (which I didn’t even think was possible or qualified as a bikini), the shortest skirt imaginable, and heels taller than my hands. “Was she walking down the street like that?” my friend Kim asked. “That sort of takes a lot of balls.
2. Guys passed out near booze table – after the bathroom fiasco, beer was necessary. As we made our way to the bar area (which was really folding tables with black tablecloths on them; we are talking about the carpeted cafeteria here), we had to step over these two guys passed out, almost in each other’s arms, in the middle of the floor. Since they were by the bar, I could only assume that massive amounts of Jagermeister was responsible for their imminent humiliation at the end of the show when they would be woken up by venue staff.
3. “I’m in a roller disco” guy – directly near us as we stood in line for booze, we spotted a club kid wearing blue hologram pants and a tight black shirt. Blue. Hologram. Pants. Sparkles, reflective, skin tight. How do you make the decision sober to wear shit like this?
4. Rainbow Brite girl – she was dancing in the back and really into Justice, and I admired her gusto when I realized she was wearing neon green tights, a cut-off jean skirt, and a blue tie-dyed tee (what was with tie-dye this night, I’m not sure). Before you think I’m being a hater, it wasn’t her outfit I had problems with, moreso that she completed the ensemble with short purple latex gloves. I mean, really?
5. Breakdancing guy – post-show, outside right in front, dancing and breaking while wearing a thick, white fuzzy ski cap. I didn’t realize Old Navy made those.
Honorable mentions go to the other club kid, who was male and wearing a corset with the nipples cut out, all the drunk or stoned people at the show who had on those lame neon bracelets and necklaces, and the guy who was standing on the stairs near us “raising the roof” and looked like he should be at an Uncle Kracker show. Thank you to all for providing some sweet entertainment for my wandering eye.