We’ve seen some of the worst lyrics lists floating around, but our friends at the Village Voice took it one step further and instituted a NCAA-style bracket system to determine the winner.
Writer Rob Harvilla “provided a trusted colleague with the 16 artists who qualified and had him assign seeds.” The seeds were broken up into two brackets — Bono and ODB. You can see the “terrifying mélange of appalling oral-sex requests, bargain-bin philosophies, grammatical atrocities, and cringe-inducing pillow talk” that made the brackets below, but to avoid stealing this story completely, you’ll have to go here to see the completed bracket and the winner of the worst lyrics of 2008.
1. The Killers “Human”
Lyrical line: Are we human / or are we dancer?
2. Weezer “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”
Lyrical line: You try to play it cool like you just don’t care / But soon I’ll be playin’ in your underwear.
3. Nickelback “Something In Your Mouth”
Lyrical line: You look so much cuter with something in your mouth.
4. Lady GaGa “Boys Boys Boys”
Lyrical line: Love it when you call me ‘Legs’ / In the morning buy me eggs.
5. The Streets “Alleged Legends”
Lyrical line: Do what you think’s right and you will feel all right / ‘Cause when you’re bad you will feel sad / That’s the religion I live by.
6. Usher “Trading Places”
Lyrical line: Skip dinner and gon’ rent a movie / You order Chinese food right before you do me.
7. Nas “My President Is Black”
Lyrical line: She ain’t a politician / Honey’s a pole-i-tician.
8. T-Pain “Therapy”
Lyrical line: I don’t need your sex / I’ll masturbate.
1. Lil Wayne “Dr. Carter”
Lyrical line: Swagger tighter than a yeast infection / Fly go hard like geese erection.
2. Metallica “Broken, Beat & Scarred”
Lyrical line: What don’t kill you make you more strong.
3. Kate Nash “Mariella”
Lyrical line: If I want to think / I’ll think with my head.
4. Katy Perry “Hot N Cold”
Lyrical line: You change your mind like a girl changes clothes / You PMS like a bitch / I would know.
5. Ne-Yo “So You Can Cry”
Lyrical line: I won’t attend your pity party / I’d rather go have calamari.
6. Lucinda Williams “Honey Bee”
Lyrical line: I’m so glad you stung me / Now I’ve got your honey / All over my tummy.
7. The Game “My Life”
Lyrical line: Hated on so much / Passion of Christ need a sequel.