Christmas On Mars

Much like Chinese Democracy this film has been the talk of the music world for far too long. With the production starting in 2001 one would suspect that the end product would either be at a caliber of greatness or trash that just too damn long to finish. If both those outcomes were cities with an intestate between them, this production took the first exit off and never got back on.

The quick break down of this film is Eraserhead meets 2001: A Space Odyssey. I would also throw in a bit of home movie; not the cartoon, the stuff your parents shot at your little league games. The production quality is that of the first Clerks movie. The cinema photography is black and white with random scenes of color to entice your senses. If you were hoping for some great songs, then you will be disappointed. The soundtrack is very space-future, but not special. There are some parts where the blasting of noise effects makes you wince at the screen. It plays well with the very depressed mood that is being set through the whole story.

The premise of the story is that it's Christmas on the Mars colony. The colonists are depressed and slowly going crazy with hallucinations. It goes as heavy handed as to have a large monologue telling how humans weren't meant for space. The sole oxygen generator on the station breaks and the captain has accepted the fate that everyone will die. However a kind Martian ventures into the base and through his learning of humans ends up fixing the generator.

It wasn't easy to come to the conclusion that I didn't like a movie with so many vaginas in it. There are a ton of vaginas. There are incredible amounts of references to birth, mothers, and their vaginas. Vagina. I don't value myself as a high scholar, but the connection between the re-birth aspect and the whole film was forced. There are only so many times you can have someone put what they want you to understand into a sock and slap you across the face with it before you light their couch on fire.

Now story and action aside, it really is an art-house movie. However its esoteric content doesn't beat you over the head. The acting is pretty awful, the dialogue is pretty awful, and the story is pretty bland and vague. If any one of these things was good, it wouldn't be worth watching. But in the way you love a good bad movie, this fits the bill. I watched it once and then had to watch it again at noon the next day to make sure I wasn't on drugs. This flick will no doubt be in heavy rotation on the TVs at your local bar. It's also fair to guess that it will be in many DVD collections. What you may not see is people watching it more than twice except to show a friend. It just isn't that enjoyable to watch. . I can't say this will be the same for you, but that's the way it was for me. Vagina.

The Flaming Lips
Warner Brothers Records

Christmas On Mars