Move over, Wiley, T-Pain, Timbaland, Dr Dre, Herbie Hancock, Rick Rubin, Butch Vig, Phil Spector, Philip Glass and Pierre Schaeffer. I have just produced a song that is set to redefine and revolutionise music as we know it. No question. Period. End of.
As promised last time, I have made a funky house remix of “Panty, Bras, Coke and Cameras”. It’s kind of a classic but modern funky house track. I’ve only put up a clip so you don’t get to hear this, but half way through I add a Fake Blood-esque fidget bassline before it goes into a half-step section with a wobbly dubstep bassline where the vocal gets some Auto-Tune treatment. Oh, and Wale drops a verse right at the end too. Anyway, you have to buy the song if you want to hear it. As you’d expect, I’ve already had a lot of label interest so expect the single release very soon. (Note to anyone who has made an offer so far: you need to add three more zeros to that before I’ll even think about calling you back.)
Durrty Goodz, “Panty, Bras, Coke and Cameras” (Prancehall remix)
Now obviously anything else I put up is going to pale in comparison to what you’ve just heard. But as my friend Ben often says, even if you’re offered steak every night of the week, now and then you’re gonna want a hamburger. Not that these tracks I am about to present to you are by any means hamburgers. And even if they were hamburgers, they’d be those nice organic ones from Waitrose with cracked black pepper and spices and stuff through them. OK, I’m rambling now. Here are the tracks.
Emvee, “Glitch Dub”
My pal Jackmaster, who runs the Dress 2 Sweat label, told me about this. It sounds like it’s been knocked together in ten minutes, but I like that. We can’t all be amazingly slick producers (like me). Also, I love the way it’s all sad keys and wistful UK garage strings at the start and then the bassline drops abruptly and catches you off guard like a swift kick between the legs.
Taio Cruz, “She’s Like A Star” (DJ Naughty remix)
I hate Taio Cruz and his cod-American R&B crooning. I hate the fact that his “people” send me each of his singles 400 times. It’s such a letdown to open a package with a Taio Cruz single inside – especially when it’s the same one each time. I love the rather fruity DJ Naughty remix of his latest single though. It’s smoother than a freshly shaved cashew nut wrapped in velvet. I would quite happily be sent, ooooohhh, 238 copies of this. No more than that though. That would be excessive.
Now for some videos for songs I’ve previously spoken about on here.
Pretty cool video but, according to the song, Chip Diddy Chip doesn’t tolerate “lip diddy lip” so I’m going to reserve passing comment on the track. Btw, see if you can spot Alexis from Hot Chip near the end.
Ouch. I think you guys will be able to tell from the above how hard we’ve been hit by the recession over in the UK. This just looks like a very cheap, erm, “tribute” to Tiga & Zyntherius’s “Sunglasses at Night” video, with a rather large nod to transsexual Amanda Lepore’s remake (check out the lips). Also, it’s pretty worrying when a grime MC can out-camp Tiga.
I seriously don’t think I can write about shit like this anymore. From next week, in place of any grime, I’m posting up my favourite Mogwai B-sides. Maybe.