Above is the video for Newham Generals' latest single, "Head Get Mangled", which uses the Holy Trinity of UK urban music video themes: bravado, torture and soft porn.
I'm yet to see a positive review of the single so I'm saying I like it just to spite everyone. Actually, I do quite like it – it's impossible for a song featuring D Double E to sound bad. It's just a shame they decided to add a horrible filter to the vocals, making what D Double says pretty much incomprehensible.
Newham Generals showed up at the NME Awards with their label boss Dizzee Rascal last week. Below, you can find the full transcribe of Newham Generals-themed text messages sent to me by Friendly Fires' drummer, Jack, who was sat on the same table as Dizzee, D Double E and Footsie all night.
7.01 OM-FUCKING-G. I'm on a table with dizzee, d double e and foots... The mood's a bit weird tho.
7.08 I'm sat next to double. Just made tentative eye contact.
8.49 Was just speaking to charlie brooker on the next table. Dizzee looked well jealous. Might introduce him to the gens later.
9.15 Just chatted properly with double... He's live-o.
9.22 Footsie said he liked edd's waistcoat.
9.34 Oooooohhh-ahhhhhhhh oooooohhhh-ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
9.47 Double's fave street fighter character is sagat – not cos he's the best but cos u have to be good to clock it with him lol.
9.51 2nd fave is zangief.
10.00 Dizzee beat us to best dancefloor filler. For fuck's sake. Any guy...
10.01 He did a stage dive with award in hand though.
10.47 Footsie said my beats were skippy.
11.25 Oh god i'm drunk. I think i just did the whole 'mic centre' routine to foots and double.
11.38 Think ur a big boy cos u got a beard/bullets will make yr face look weird.
11.44 Just exchanged digits with double.
11.47 Double's chatting with two prime yatties. He's gonna drop an 'it's mwueee mwueee' on our new album.
11.51 Msg from dizzee: prancehall u r 2-face watermelon head.
Newham Generals, "Mic Centre"
The "Mic Centre" routine which Jack refers to is a snippet of a Newham Generals radio set that I posted on my blog over three-and-a-half years ago with a joke about me and Jack doing a live performance where we covered the bars. It's a cute-sounding ditty about Double, Footsie and Monksta picking up three girls and bringing them home for a good roasting. I think they used the bars in a track with another beat but there's no way it could have been as good as this.
By the way, if, like me, you were wondering why Monksta left Newham Generals, you'll be intrigued to hear that he has now denounced grime and turned to God. These days he can be found handing out leaflets and trying to convert people outside Forest Gate train station.
To conclude this week's column, I'm uploading a truly epic five-minute mix of classic house and bleep and other stuff that Jack recently did for Radio 1.
Download: Jack from Friendly Fires mix
Riley Reinhold & Remute, "Jah Wobble"
Inner City, "Good Life (Carl Craig mix)"
Liquid Liquid, "Bellhead"
Friendly Fires, "Jump in the Pool"
Liquid Liquid, "Optimo"
Nightmares on Wax, "Aftermath"
Adonis, "No Way Back"
Sweet Excorcist, "Testfour"
Charles B & Adonis, "Lack Of Love"
Alec Wizz, "Drummin"
Paul Johnson, "Just Dance"
Wee Papa Girl Rappers, "Heat It Up"
Phuture, "Acid Tracks"
Zed Bias, "Neighbourhood"
Rhythm is Rhythm, "Nude Photo"
Sweet Excorcist, "Testone"
Laidback, "White Horse"
George Morel, "Let's Groove"
Kate Bush, "Running Up That Hill"
Egyptian Lover, "Freakaholic"
Wax Stag, "Mirror Lantern"
Daft Punk, "Revolution 909"
Public Enemy, "She Watch Channel Zero!?"
Hardrive, "Deep Inside"