Schnipper’s Slept On

Each Tuesday, FADER editor Matthew Schnipper highlights an underappreciated recent release he thinks we need to know about. This week it’s Young Jeezy f. Jay-Z’s “Go Crazy.” Buy the mp3 and read Schnipper’s thoughts on it after the jump.

You know what I don’t want to think about on a Sunday night at 11:30? Paul Blart: Mall Cop. I didn’t see it. Did you? Every review I read was atrocious but it sold 142 million dollars worth of tickets. Who saw that? If tickets cost an average of ten dollars in the US that is 1.42 million tickets sold. Pending like 100,000 people saw it twice that is still 1.32 million individuals that saw Paul Blart Mall Cop. Akron/Family only sold out two nights at Union Pool in Brooklyn—and I don’t know how many people went both Saturday and Sunday—but it was still an impressive feat.

I drank a beer in the other room for the opening group and pushed my way to the front just before Akron/Family went on. They sucked. But people were losing their minds. There were two college maybe-lesbians, one girl with a weird bathing suit bikini tank top combo and another with hair that looked like frosted tips without the frosting, swaying with each other and a Kurt Cobain-ish red-flannelled guy next to them and they were all freaking out. It was crazy. I have seen a lot of music, baseball games, famous people. I once sat on the set of Sports Center. I never saw people freaking out like that. I never freaked out like that. I was seven and sitting at the fucking Sports Center desk. The same one that is on ESPN. I was cool with it. At Akron/Family a guy snuck up next to me with a camera and it was Vincent Moon of La Blogotheque. He cradled the camera and swung back and forth like he was being jostled by the crowd but he wasn’t. There was a bunch of writing on the back of his hand in black marker. I tried to but couldn’t make out any other word except “music.” People were singing along. There was a full horn session. I started thinking about Jimi Hendrix. You know he died at 27, right? Then I just thought about Mitch Mitchell, his drummer. They were better than Akron/Family. Not fair, I know. But shouldn’t someone have standards? No one at the show did. But they all looked so happy. I felt like someone explaining to a bunch of sea guzzlers that salt water was undrinkable. That’s not true, I didn’t explain anything. I just wondered why I wasn’t having fun. Actually that’s not true really either. I didn’t “just wonder” why I wasn’t having fun. I started thinking about it really intensely. I thought about other people I know who are a few years older than me that think about their ages a lot, feel like they are over the hill. I don’t think I’m there yet. So I tried to listen more, maybe get open. I saw Akron/Family a year ago at SXSW in a Design Within Reach store. That was really fun! They played near some furniture and I think there was free beer I just didn’t have any. I had a beer at this show. I had a beer at home before. I took a nap for a few hours, then got up and watched The Rock. Sean Connery is such a presence! They make a joke about him having grunge hair because he is a secret prisoner with no identity so he never gets a trim. My old roommate was in town, we took a walk. I fell asleep on the couch. I had a corn muffin, I had a bagel. I was only two blocks from my house so my commute home wouldn’t be long. This is some apex of Sunday happiness that I never get to ascend to and instead of zoning out with the same groovy bliss everyone else at the show was vibing on I was thinking about how they sucked for liking Nth rate jam band crud. Then I felt bad for being a dick. Great.

My friend Dean came with me to the show. He took a long walk that day because he had some shit on his mind. The friend he walked with told him that the reason he has crow’s feet is because he stresses too much. He didn’t know he had crow’s feet. Turns out he does. Sunday was the first time he realized his body would start to turn on him. I told him about my osteoporosis. Then Akron/Family started playing. The second half of the first song was kind of okay.

Wow the sun is shining right in my eyes. It’s shining off this building on Sixth Avenue that has been being built the entire year and a half I have sat in the corner desk of the Fader editorial office. Did I tell you I sit on top of the heater? I always have to take off my sweater in the winter. Right now it is nice, though. Yesterday I walked to the new sandwich place and my coworker Rosemary said the temperature was 60 degrees. Then we passed a sign that said “sixty.” It was the address for this place on Gramercy Park South. It was a weird déjà vu. Not déjà vu. Not serendipity either, though, right? We walked down that side of the street because the sun was out there. Today I went out and bought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I ran into my friend on the street while I waited for the bread to get toasted. That was serendipity, right? Something is working. I’m wearing a sweater on my head.

I’m running out of lotion. My Texas tan is fading. Do you like Young Jeezy? Every time I get drunk at home I put this song on. I bought this record back when I didn’t have a job. I put it on on Saturday night before I went dancing. We had to leave the club because too many people showed up. It was really dark. I didn’t have to pay. I hate paying. I had to wait on line for the bathroom, though. Why did they put Jay-Z’s verse at the end? It’s a weird place for the guest spot. When you’re the guest don’t you try not to take the spotlight? He gets the denouement. This song had Fat Joe on it, too. I remember downloading it at my sister’s house in Vermont. That Fat Joe verse was totally unnecessary. My favorite hue is Jay-Z blue. That’s why you get to end the song, I guess. Walking to Akron/Family a girl stopped Dean to say hello. They knew each other from college. I knew her too, though, she was really good friends with my sister when she lived in Vermont. We went swimming together a couple of years ago. It was cool to see her, she had cool glasses. I didn’t understand what was going on. I mean I did, but it’s weird when small world stuff happens, right? It really is a small world.

If I took a personal day what would I do? I wonder if I would just get bored. Kinda hard to be drug free when Georgia Power won’t give a a nigga lights free. Why would they give you free power? Work for it like everyone else. What a weird attitude. I guess it worked for him. There is a little part after Jeezy says Now who the fuck wanna play with guns? A lotta holes a lot of blood, dog that shit ain’t fun where he just says “nope.” It’s like a weird private moment of Jeezy backing himself up. You think he needs that self-assurance? I bet he doesn’t anymore, maybe back when he was young. That’s a joke. Well not a joke so much as a reference to that part up there about being old. I’m not old, neither is Young Jeezy. Did you ever read Maxine Hong Kingston in college? That shit sucked.

POSTED March 31, 2009 6:30PM IN SLEPT ON Comments (1) TAGS: ,

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  1. matt says:

    Annoying