So if you're the sort of person who has ever unironically (or for that matter ironically) thrown around the term "blogosphere" you might have already known Ryan Adams was given a video game column to indulge his creative whims. And if you're not that type, well, the headline basically gave you the gist. His first entry came out today on The Awl, and in theory it was a review of the old arcade game Gorf. In actuality, about 80 percent of this long form review are more about drunken metaphors, Danzig, Whitesnake being the perfect soundtrack for fireworks mishaps and giving Adams a venue to call craters "cosmic acne." Finally, on page two (yes, there's a page two) he begins analyzing the game (apparently it has levels and shit), and is pretty funny about doing so, sort of granting how ridiculous the premise is.
A few highnotes:
"Gorf stands for "Galactical Orbital Robot Force," which is not a Radiohead album (yet)."
"Playing Gorf is like getting wasted, or what I remember about getting wasted: It's loud, it's confusing, there are a bunch of lights going off, people (robots) are shooting at you, you need pizza, etc., then its game over."
"...as my pops once told me "You lose when you drop the quarter in." What an ass. He obviously never heard the whole "Don't hate the player, hate the game" thing, but then he never was much of a gangsta."
If you're made is this far already, just read the damn thing.