Hater Mondays: September will see the release of The Indie Rock Coloring Book, a compendium of illustrations by Andy J. Miller based on the oeuvre and aura of his favorite indie rock bands, including a "fill in Rilo Kiley's hair" page and a "psychedelic" MGMT "playground". We cannot front too hard because any proceeds the book collects will go to the Yellow Bird Project, which works with indie rockers to raise money for various charities. But the arrival of this illustrated tome forced us to delve into the psyche of such conceits—whose clear geneses reside in twee—which cherish an infantilized notion of "childlike splendor" and abhors the concept of "acting appropriately according to one's birth year in relation to the present." True, perhaps there are some extremely advanced children of coloring book age who will enjoy recreating the movie projector on The New Pornographers' Twin Cinema album cover in crayon. More likely, we envision a gaggle of 24-year-old boy-men in rust-colored turtleneck sweaters using Utrecht-purchased colored pencil packs to fill in a Broken Social Scene maze (possibly while listening to ancient Beat Happening records). Caveat Emptor, amigos! Carpe Diem! This is not the new primitivism! Benjamin Button was a work of fiction! LIVE YOUR LIVES!