CYRIOUSLY: English Muffin Sex




I won't even lie to you (readers), a few minutes ago I thought to myself...'Cyrus, what would make for a dope posting on Suite903.com?' I thought about it for a second.....Corinne Bailey Rae getting ready to drop next year is pretty illy. But then again, Amy Winehouse's "VH1 Behind The Music"-type return to the "Microphone" (c) Slaughterhouse is a must-write-about-before-holiday shopping thought. But even with the Wikipedia Firefox tab on deck to my right for reference purposes, I can't help but remind myself of Sade pushing a "Desperate Housewives" move and stuntin' on the R&B genre with her own dopeness in the next few months to come....it is now a no-brainer....

"English Muffin Sex"

Now quite honestly, I have no clue whether the Suite903.com crew will even approve this posting, but I have to go with my gut feeling and "New York State of Mind" setting right now and go with what seems right....

Corinne Bailey Rae, Amy Winehouse and Sade...sure, comeback albums are headed our way faster than greased faced bloggers copy/pasting their back-and-forth rants about the 2012 predictions in between "Avatar" disputes but it's the one thing I have come to determine about my sexual life intertwined with R&B plus England-reppin' singers (shout-outs to Leona Lewis, you were in my thought "Echo")....I have a thing for English R&B singers. Well, a "thing" would be more "The Republic" editorial, but since this is Suite903.com, I'll come out and say it, I have a sexual desire and connection with those 'round-a-way girls...and "Oh yes," they're the ones for me.

Now if you have read this far down, either you're looking for another reason to "not" click the red "X" in the upper right hand corner or you're going to suggest one of your UK connects to hit @CyrusKLanghorne on the Twitter tip, yerp? OR....you could really want to know what I'm getting at, right? So yes, at first glance this would come across as a horny "blogger" trying to whine about never shacking up with one of those Elizabeth Hurley and/or Vanessa Angel ("Weird Science") women...YET, but it's deeper than THAT...see, while sex plays a major factor, it's not the only aspect....I REALLY love the R&B sounds of the English women....

Don't get me wrong, Rihanna still goes "hard" and I always count on Mary J. Blige to give me the "411" while going through Alicia Keys' "Empire," but when it comes to UK hitmakers, they're not in the same league....I remember my first early intern days at Captiol Records around 2006 and hearing "Just like a star...." and then seeing Bailey Rae's promotional ads and I was hooked......curly brown hair, soft brown eyes, even her smile gave me chills as I uploaded her CD artwork into the company computer's iTunes....wanting to make love to her was an understatement....I put on tracks like "Breatlhess" and "Butterfly" with gentle words like "In my mother's house.....there's a photograph..of a day's gone past..." Ahhhhhhh....(real monsters)........maaaaan! Maybe because I had just come out of a quick relationship, the kid had those real butterflies in my stomach and I would re-play, re-play, re-play those records just wanting to have Corinne under the covers and caressing her every spot.....WHILE she sang those words.......the gentle and elegant feel came through my ears so many days, almost like those "Vanilla Sky" October's where you can only hope to capture the perfect moment of leaves scattered and a soft overhead for a few moments because surely enough, winter is on deck....it was and "is" those same feelings I get from Bailey Rae that make sex ---> love ----> magic seem all but possible...if only if.....

But if Corinne could have only served as the "perfect" setting, then Winehouse came through my backdoor (pause!!!) with a bottle of Scotch, cigarette on her ear and a couple Ghostface Killah and Jay-Z remixes to make me look at this infatuation in a whole new light. So a few months pass, I stack up on my record label connects and sure enough, Winehouse takes over the airwaves come 2007 and has me go from "gentle magic" to sloppy but miraculous love-f*ck fantasies swirming through my mind. Now while all of you guys couldn't get past "Rehab" and "No Good," I saw a part of Winehouse that made me REALLY understand and respect where she was coming.....from. "My Tears Dry On Their Own" and "Me & Mr. Jones" were stupppppid cwwaazy incredible, but after hearing records like "Just Friends" with my baby singing "When will we get.....the time to be......jusssst friends." "Torn pillow x drool x extreme heartbeats" were all going through my Winehouse-desired thoughts. I was in love with an English shorty......again. While I still held onto Corinne Bailey Rae with my left hand, I was oh so right in being guided in the other by Winehouse...still skeptical, I soon understood it was much more than her bashful ways that had me Viagra commercial-ready, it was later when I checked out her 2003/04 debut, "Frank" that I saw it was more than a "bootycall" feeling after listening to "Stronger Than Me" and "There Is No Greater Love..." Funk. Not only did Winehouse's debut have such an underlying hip-hop feel (the sampling of Nas' "They Shootin'"), but it was a slight element of what Corinne Bailey Rae had that was instantly put into my mind.....so imagine the above-mentioned sex drive I had for Winehouse and refer to the previous paragraph on Rae to get a grasp on what I wanted to NOW do to Winehouse. I saw it as when I was much younger and while Spiderman (Rae) was "cool," you knew The Punisher (Winehouse) held nothing back. THAT's what I was and still am craving. Even through the trials and tribulations of her drug problems and getting placed on the market after a messy divorce with the Civil-Blake dude, I stood by homegirl's side and still cherish the day.....

(laugh) I know, who thought bloggers would ever be able to make an effective lead-in from the previous block of information right? So we go from Rae being my main chick to wanting an affair with Winehouse to now.....oh boy, how could I ever forget my biggest fanstasy UK girl, Sade. I won't lie, I've had a thing for her even back in the early 1990's when I was doing chores at mom's Rome, New York home and listening to "No need to ask, he's a smooth operatttttor." Call it pre-mature sex fantasies (because if I told my mom I wanted sexual relations in the third grade with Sade, I may have been placed back on coloring books instead of Super Nintendo)...but I knew I was hooked. Sure, she had a few decades on me but I was in "love....." Time goes by and once I hit highschool, yup, she's back in 2000 with "Sade Lovers Rock...." Fast-forward from that 2000 New York Yankees championship to 2009's New York Yankees championship and here she is. A quick two and a half years after falling for Winehouse, my sexual tension is further complicated by Sade's return......"Soldier of Love?" I surrender.

And there we have it, my top three English "R&B" (not really) singers I have sexual anxiety about. Maybe it's because I want more than just to "feel" them, it's wanting to "connect" (under the covers) and....(laugh)...as awkward as it sounds, hear their same words placed into action.....from Corinne's gentle butterfly to Winehouse's slurred and elegant raspy 'ish to Sade's veteran domination over my body....I want it all.......English Muffin Sex.

CYRIOUSLY: English Muffin Sex