Dedication: John Edwards, Father






John Edwards, you’re so stupid that you’re a GENIUS! Even though you were not slick enough to cheat on your wife with an attractive woman or keep your scallywag quiet, we applaud you. You were obviously paying attention to the Tiger Woods fiasco and have learned the art of deflection. Did you take a hint from Mark McGwire, you Wile E. Coyote, you? In the midst of an international crisis you saw fit to finally admit what we already knew: YOU ARE THE FATHER! Guess what: you’re not even in the top ten news stories on CNN! No snarky headlines, just a quick blurb. You didn’t even make the front page of the NY Post and they’re easy. (Shout out to Tiger!) In any case, you are one smooth operator and have set a whole new standard for douche bags in 2010. You did do one thing right: you showed us that America still cares about real issues rather than trivial interests such as American Idol or the trysts of unattractive people. We see you Johnny boy. This one here is for you! -Judnik Mayard

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Dedication: John Edwards, Father