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CYRIOUSLY: Sex, Lies & Studio Sessions

kkcarls
(laugh)

When it all boils down, I'm still torn between trying to understand whether or not these "sex tapes" based off R&B singers are staged or legit.

In case you haven't noticed, it's "Return of the Mac........" style with this posting, nothing but random thoughts splurged with R&B themes. Well, in all actuality I suppose we have yet to come across an R&B "sextape," but the compilation of these Rihanna and Cassie photos which consumed the 'net just a few months back is still damping my dome piece, so let's roll with it, @CyrusKLanghorne.


Now when it comes to the ever popular "sex tape" and "R&B," I guess the closest thing we can bring up is the Ray J/Kim Kardashian tape...(pause to my fella readers...). And to think if that wasn't bad enough (sidenote: Kardashian had quotes for weeks in that), we get tossed non-stop "BAD" nude photos from the most awkward of awkward R&B stars....

Cassie? Flat chested...too "open" (wow)...just.....weird?

Rihanna? Suspect camera angles....lack of style.....sleeper?

And don't think my slamming is just on the younger generations...I could go on and on (on and on and on and....vibrant thing!) about Macy Gray's beyond suspect-turned-confusing performance when she was straight nude....ughhh...

Well, I put all the negative out first to bring out a quick analysis. We NEED quality "accidental" wardrobe malfunctions, leaked iPhone photos, etc...and we need 'em fast. I can't stress how off-centered the R&B game has gotten and with the eligible single ones being taken off availability faster than Air Yeezy kicks on release day with artists like Beyonce (and husband Jay-Z), Mariah Carey (and wife..err...'husband' Nick Cannon) and Christina Millian (and hubby The-Dream)...the game is changing.

Now here is what I'm proposing. Much like a young teenager grows into maturity/manhood after realizing Cinemax late nights never had penetration, it's time to come to terms and not sugar coat things. Attractive R&B singers who can actually "sing," please rise to the occasion.

Alicia Keys.

Keri Hilson.

Mya.

Ashanti.

Letoya.

Sure, they each have their pluses and minuses, but the bottom line is each one of 'em can sing. Look, I know it sounds sleazy but it's for the sake of R&B. Just imagine if we went LeBron James free throw line shooting with these above names....let's go with maybe 3 of 5 of those mentioned names, over a one-two year period having a sex tape leak out? WOW....R&B game is saved. How? Well, I still have yet to develop a strong point-by-point explanation, however, noticing the effects of someone like Kardashian ("Meet the Kardashians," movie roles) and Paris Hilton (reality show, fragrances) and just seeing how stock tends to grow so fast after the smoke has cleared, yup, it seems like a long-term win-win.

Another key issue is a properly leaked and well-done R&B sextape leaves an extra push for men (fellas) to go out and justify putting that "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2" spending money on about five of those above mentioned artists' records....look, females, speaking from a guy's perspective, I know how we roll. Even your most elegant laced male friend can't deny the inability of trying to "not" find interest in an artist any how related to "sex."

Suggestions:

Now look, we don't have to go down the "sex tape" man-woman-end of story route. The tape could consist of multiple things....shucks, it could even be XXX-rated talk about their sex life, friends, opinions. See, the problem is people get too involved with thinking it's all about the hardcore route, nerp, it's really not. Point/Fact: Nicki Minaj has to be one of the sexiest and nastiest rappers out right now in how she can spit hot fire (raps) and still manage to say a line like, "...put this p***y on your side burns...." (laugh) and yet, she has yet to have a split in her pants, become victim of the infamous nip slip (see Lil Kim, Summer Jam concert), etc...

Times are changing and while we appreciate the thankful contributions of the recent naked photo submissions, there's just something telling me we need a sacrifice here and it's gotta come out from the top.

CYRIOUSLY: Sex, Lies & Studio Sessions