It is now T minus seven hours and counting until Mr. Terius Nash hits the stage at New York City's Highline Ballroom. We will be changing into our white belts and bedazzled leather jackets just as soon as the clock strikes six. However, there are a few other things you dudes out there need to include on your to-do lists if you will be joining us at the West Side venue for a night of love, gigantic sunglasses and that dance where you raise your wine glass in the air and wave it back and forth.
1. You need to go meet a nice girl and ask her to go with you. This will not be a good place to hit on girls. The women at this show will have listened to Dream's songs through so many of your fellow man's dastardly deeds that stepping to them might get you slapped like a child in front of a couple thousand people. Bring someone with you, even if it's just a friend. Handprint-on-face quotient will be greatly reduced.
2. If you're balling like that, head a block west to Mario Batali's opulent flagship Italian restaurant, Del Posto. The bill will make you lightheaded for a minute, but take a breather and think about how good the food and wine were and remember that you deserve to be pampered every once in awhile. You can eat Papaya dogs for the next two weeks and all will be forgiven by your checking account. Whether your ladyfriend has romantic potential or not, taking her here will also be the best investment you've made in your social life since that time you took your sister's puppy to Central Park (and that was cheating).
3. Memorize the words to every Dream song. This has nothing to do with the ladies. It's just what you should do. Then sing along as often as you can. This is a lost art in the world. Dudes used to sing along to songs all the time and not worry about it at all. We worked with a dude back in college who didn't not sing along to the Chi-Lites every single time they were on the radio, and they were always on the radio because his Chi-Lites tape was stuck in the tape deck. That dude was a solid dude.
4. Hold the cologne. We passed a dude on the street this morning whose cologne made us dry heave. He was 20 feet away. In New York. Do you know how many smells that cologne had to penetrate just to reach our nostrils? Don't be that dude. That dude will be at this show by the hundreds. Be the dude who smells neutral and women will flock to you like Canada during wartime.
5. When in doubt, order champagne. Have you ever seen someone drinking champagne and not having a good time? Beer, wine and liquor are great, but this is your night. Celebrate. Just be careful, it can give you mean winds if you drink it too fast.
Follow these steps and your Dream night will be one to remember. Also, remember to hold all doors, tip well and show up early for Gyptian.