You never feel more like a New Yorker than when an earthquake tremor shakes the office floor and you all run in all your spastic glory towards the elevator—after stopping to tweet—like the apocalypse came early. The fact that our fight-or-flight mechanism determined that was the best option probably has Darwin rolling in his grave. Thankfully, we have Sam, our Senior Editor and West Coast import, who brought us back to reality with an eye-roll and the assurance that no, we’re not going to die. This obviously comes as great news, because we’d hate to die before we got official confirmation that the Jada/Will break-up rumor is false. Lil Wayne’s “Earthquake,” an album track from Tha Carter, actually has little to do with seismic activity. But Wayne rapping about how he’s your girl’s “long distance pimp” while Jazze Pha does his best Al Green impression is absolutely calming our post-quake jitters.
In related news, there’s already a Tumblr to commemorate the occasion.