We didn’t have enough pull to send our interns on a sweater shopping spree with Drake while he was in town for Fashion Week, so we promised them the next-best New York experience: CMJ, with badges! While we’re holding it down at the FADER FORT by FIAT, Patrick Lyons, Sam Katz, Kiran Samuel and Parker Bruce will be hitting the streets, wiggling through publicists, bands, college DJs and regular Brooklyn drunks and reporting on the entire festival as it happens. Last night, Patrick and Sam wandered around the Williamsburg waterfront in the rain. They saw a ton of bands but mostly talked about chicks and boners. Yikes, dudes! Follow their bros night out with Lemonade, Teengirl Fantasy, Little Red, Chad Valley, Twin Sister, John Maus and more below.
SAM KATZ: IT’S SO NICE OUT! I REALLY LOVE COLD AND RAIN! No boners are getting killed tonight though. 285 Kent is at capacity, but I’m next door at the True Panther show at Glasslands. Lemonade is DJing. My face has soooo much bass in it. Oh, what’s up girl? Yeah, I love fake glasses…
PATRICK LYONS: Get some! I think it would greatly add to the story.
SAM: She’s my nemesis, but I want her? Oh my god, Tracy Chapman “Fast Car” dancehall remix, I’m fucking dying.
PATRICK: If I made a list of songs least likely to get dancehall remixes, that would be right at the top next to “Life is a Highway.”
SAM: King Krule’s out and about and a lot taller than I thought he’d be. Teengirl Fantasy’s getting started. Things just got reaaaallll heavy.
PATRICK: Aiiiight I’m off work! Heading to Public Assembly.
SAM: 285 is still at capacity. Teeengirl singer has an amazing voice. There’s not a single Macbook onstage either. These guys are the masters of all things analog.
PATRICK: I’m in! Warm Ghost consists of three dudes are onstage playing synths. The Macbook count is 2. Got my first PBR of the night so things are looking up.
SAM: Parker just showed up! It’s really fucking popping here. There are more people out smoking cigarettes than there are people inside.
PATRICK: One PBR down, ? to go. Not too crowded here and the crowd is mellow so far. Ohh shit Lemonade coming out the gate accompanied by the most awesome hybrid drum set I’ve ever seen.
SAM: I want to go to there. Still waiting for the next band, Little Red, to set up. 285 Kent is open again, let’s go see Twin Sister. They start a half hour ago.
PATRICK: Ah okay, let’s hope they’re running late. I’ll head there now.
SAM: The guy in Little Red has the sexiest accent but is playing the least sexy music of all time. Whatever, in that jacket he’s still totally getting laid tonight.
PATRICK: After a rain-soaked run down Kent Ave, I’m in! Twin Sister sounds awesome though.
SAM: Leaving Glasslands. That set was awful. 285 is fucking mobbed.
PATRICK: I’m the back by the bar. Andrea Estella sounds like a funky alien.
SAM: Holy shit, the funk is strong in this one. James Brown meets Brian Eno. Hahaha some guy just yelled “deadmau5.”
PATRICK: I think he said John Maus, because that would make WAY more sense. It’s so packed that I think the rainwater that’s soaked into my shirt is now boiling, as is the water slogging around in my shoes. That being said, Twin Sister killed it. Wait the guy who is not Andrew VanWyngarden from MGMT is behind us? Maybe? John Maus fan perhaps? [EDIT: After googling him, 95% sure it was Ben Goldwasser]
SAM: Oh man, John Maus is my hero. He’s so intense but so happy. Time to start a pit.
PATRICK: He wins the award for most energy. John Maus is hitting his head and grabbing his hair, self-violence ftw.
SAM: I love nothing more than watching a man destroy himself onstage. There is no one else up there but him and he has enough pizazz to make it feel like there’s eight other people up there rocking out as hard as he is. Incredible. How has no one stage dived yet? Starting a pit. BRB.
PATRICK: This is the punkiest I’ve ever seen an electronic artist act. Raising his arms with his hands in clawlike shapes.
SAM: Great success. Just got punched while jazzercising. Sign of a good show.
PATRICK: As John Maus was singing “you fucking maniacs” over and over, I was moshing like a fool with everyone else. It may have been an accurate statement, I felt pretty maniacal.
SAM: I’ve never found myself smiling uncontrollably every time a song starts before. This is really something else. John Maus: Kid tested, Mom approved. He was half cutting his own arm off, half orgasming everywhere.
PATRICK: This is worth at least 20 dollars. John Maus: beats enough to dance to but weird enough to geek out to.
SAM: I love it when it’s harder getting out of a venue than it is getting in.