Presumably in the spirit of sanctioned drunkenness at corporate holiday parties, Calvin Klein (!?) commissioned Gang Gang Dance’s Lizzi Bougatsos and Josh Diamond to produce a twisted, sexy holiday song entitled “Holiday (Dope Xxxmas).” Bougatsos wishes listeners a “merry crisis” and suggests they lay inhibition to the side and wrap a ball of toilet paper in a hundred dollar bill, so “it looks like ya have a million,” because then “you can go the store and buy a lot of things, or pretend to at least.” Okay!
Meanwhile, Wiley, on his own accord, has released “Cheer Up, It’s Christmas,” from his upcoming non-Christmas album Evolve or be Extinct. Sleighbells and the usual accoutrement have been replaced by cheery any-season synths. On the chorus he says, “Everybody eats food,” and ultimately he gets drunk and dances with a relative named Shirley. What the fuck is going on, everybody? International egg nog tainting? Contain yourselves, people still have work to do!