Last week, Fiona Apple was arrested for possession of hash in Sierra Blanca, TX. After spending a night in jail there, Apple returned to the stage in Houston, where she delivered a pretty epic rant regarding “inappropriate and probably illegal” treatment during her arrest. During that speech, Apple claimed she would, “make [the Texas cops] fucking famous any time [they] ask,” by exposing their behavior during her time in jail. Now, in yet another bizarre turn of events, Rusty Fleming, the spokesperson for the Hudspeth County Sheriff Department, has issued a response. In his note, which you can read in full below, Fleming calls himself “more famous” than Apple, says the singer should have been aware of the state’s zero tolerance drug policy, and, finally, suggests that that she “just shut-up and sing.”
First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine.”
Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, — now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you.
Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail.
Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple “just shut-up and sing.”