Tonight's caucuses in Iowa concluded with Senator Ted Cruz clinching the state from a crowded field of Republicans, while the Democratic contest between Senator Bernie Sanders and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton remained too close to call well into the evening's final minutes.
Cruz's victory is an upset over billionaire Donald Trump, whose racist bluster has made him the consistent poll frontrunner for many months. Ha ha. If you're unfamiliar with Cruz, here he is being inspiring.
But don't let all that passion fool you. He's also a man of the family. And condiments.
(He's also cool with murder, combines racist and homophobic dog whistles into a KFC Double Down of hatred, and you wouldn't want to trust him with your little sister's science project even though he sits on the budget committee that oversees NASA)
The results for the Democratic Iowa caucus is being billed as a “virtual tie,” but the results represents a massive shift in support for Sanders, who had Iowa polls in the single digits last summer and whose politics - Sanders identifies as a democratic socialist - have faced constant questions of electability in the 2016 general election.
Tonight's results also saw a few political casualties. Before the polls had officially closed, Governor Mike Huckabee had dropped out of the national Republican primary, as well as Governor Mike O'Malley on the Democratic side.