Video: Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, “Carry Out”

Not quite as brutal as “Cry Me a River.” Had hoped eight years of collaboration might bring something a bit more meaningful than Take my order baby because your body’s like a carry out, but we’ll take what we can get. And what we can get is Timbaland’s reliable percussion clang and JT’s little half rap shuffle. This video’s repeated clips of serious babes in skimpy outfits eating sweets is two-thirds of the way into completing the dreams of George Costanza.

Video: Ciara and Justin Timberlake, “Love Sex Magic” on Saturday Night Live

When “Goodies,” Ciara’s first single came out, this is not where we would have expected her to land three albums later. Or two, or four or whatever. Because, exactly, you have a bunch of records? And you are regular famous? Why didn’t you stay weird? Instead, you have a song called “Love Sex Magic” where you say you can make us believe in love sex magic. First two, we’re there. Third, Chris Angel ruined for us. You know what else ruined it for us? The out of sync backup dancers and that split that doesn’t work you do in front of Justin Timberlake’s electric piano. At least he’s a completely lovable dweeb. Who happens to sound like Stevie Wonder. Ciara, take notes.

Audio: Justin Timberlake f. Lil Wayne, “I Heard Something”

Is Zshare or Mediafire worse? Zshare looped us forever and then gave us only a one minute snippet, whereas those “I’m not a spambot” letters you have to type into the Mediafire box are completely unreadable. ø?ßå???˜?˜all overlapped. Yeah I totally know what that says, computer! Lordy, the painful lengths we go to to hear Justin Timberlake and Lil Wayne. Anyway, now we’re past the pain of internet dementia (though we still have carpal tunnel) and this is good, mid-tempo crying at the alter of Quincy Jones (not that he’s dead) blue eyed soul. That bass sounds like it’s being played by McGruff the Crime Dog, shadowy in the way the person who finds the villains is cloaked, not villainous himself. Wayne, you sound like us rapping. Ok that’s not true no one has ever heard that and for good reason but you don’t sound like you, either. You sound like you are not tired but parched and not in space. You sound like you are in New Jersey waiting to get called for jury duty.



Stream: Justin Timberlake f. Lil Wayne, “I Heard Something” (snippet)

And here are some links to more new Wayne that may or may not be easier to download (Juelz uploaded them).

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Freeload: T.I. f. Justin Timberlake, “Dead & Gone”

If you’re looking for a “My Love” part two, look to every rap song with synths that came out in 2007, because T.I. and JT are officially in the business of grandiose Coldplay rap. Granted, some rappers might already be trying to make their own (way better) version of S&M, which is already a dubious album in its own right, but we’re cool with more people hopping on the Bare Your Emotions Train. Thankfully, instead of repurposing old songs with some violins like Metallica, T.I.’s Paper Trail is shaping up quite nicely.



Download:T.I. f. Justin Timberlake, “Dead & Gone”