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Trapped In Our Mindframe

November 16, 2005

We don't know about you but we CAN'T STOP WATCHING THIS SHIT. The other night was our 12,548th viewing of Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 1-12.

There are a lot of great moments, from "shit-think-shit-think," to the car scene almost-animation, to the really weird leg-cramp sex that precludes "oh my god a rubber... rubber... rubber" to the part where R jumps out the pantry-closet and pauses the fuckin movie on some 2001 green screen shit. Although there's no consensus on which moment is the most raddest, we're pretty much in agreement that our favorite character is ya boy ’Twan. The whole series basically depends on the idea that there are two R Kelly's: one is sort of general master of ceremonies - he can do "I'm your host" shit like pause the movie and smoke cigars that nobody can smell. The other is the one character in the plot who, like us, doesn't have any secrets, and can't even begin to imagine what's gonna happen next. So that latter Arrruh basically just runs around in disbelief, pointing guns at people and demanding answers he never gets. Once ’Twan arrives though, R has a partner in ignorance, and so do we. Someone to share in the "this is some fucked-up shit" mind-blowedness, except ’Twan's even more eager to shoot people. But what will happen next? Is Gwendolyn a man? Is ’Twan gay too? Does Kells 2 have some skeletons in the closet? Is Kells 1 gonna get all Bill Clinton with that cigar? OH MY GOD THE DRAMA... Drama... drama...

Posted: November 16, 2005
Trapped In Our Mindframe