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A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius

December 08, 2005

The thing about
Jason Statham is that he is real good at being Jason Statham. He makes movies like The Transporter in which he grimaces and mashes on dudes and just stays bald and angry. You got Oscars? Sell that shit to Tom Hanks. Our boy is too busy making movies like
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, a fantasy-swords-and-shields jump with Burt Reynolds and Matthew Lillard. Statham, to use a parlance of our time, stays in his lane. But his lane just got a lot more exciting to us, with the announcement of a new film called Crank. In it, he plays a hitman who has been poisoned; if his adrenaline level drops below a certain point he will die. So to keep things spicy he does stuff like blow rails, hammer nails into his leg and have sex in public. We're betting our 401k's that he also kills dudes and grimaces somewhere in there. Co-star
Amy Start says it's gonna be "insane." We have no reason to doubt you, boo.

Posted: December 08, 2005
A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius