I Know You Hear My Footsteps

December 19, 2005

While you toddlers paitently wait for Saint Nick to bound down your fire escape with some custom BAPE's and a Nano, we're anticipating something a little more then the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Get your priorities in order: Miami Vice is coming. In honor of the 12 days of Christmas (WHATVER, DOG!), here are 12 reasons why this movie will be better then anything. Ever.

1. Michael Mann.

2. Colin Farrell - playing Sonny Crockett, the role immortalized by the man who in many ways is his spiritual forefather, Don Johnson - rocking greeeeezy long hair and a mustache. God bless his STD riddled, pill popping, Jameson-soaked, womanizing soul.

3. Jamie Foxx, playing second banana Ricardo Tubbs. No lines in the trailer. But the Oscar winner has the far-away look of a man who has slept with the entire female population of Dade County. He wins.

4. Gong Li , kinda-sorta most beautifulest thing in this world, playing the Cuban-Chinese (what?) wife of a drug lord.

5. It was shot with what we are sure is top of the line digital technology, but has the slight air of Hi-8 home movies of skateboarding that we made in 8th grade. Awesome.

6. Justin Theroux, the dude who played the dude who liked to get tied up and sexually humiliated by Brenda on Six Feet Under is in it. He rocks a mustache too.

7. Michael Mann.

8. In the preview, Farrell asks knowingly, "Do you know what 'foreboding' means?" This is awesome because we don't think Colin knows what it means.

9. If there is anything half as awesome as Javier Bardem's
"Black Peter" story in Collateral then it will rule.

10. Ditto if anything gets in the same ballpark as the nightclub shootout in Collateral, the bank robbery in Heat, or all the times Wes Studi rushes colonial herbs in Last Of The Mohicans. Michael Man = bring kevlar.

11. Even the film's official site is trill. From the plot synopsis: "The best undercover identity is oneself with the volume turned up and restraint unplugged." We've adopted this as our motto by the way.

12. Original music by RZA. Game over.

Posted: December 19, 2005
I Know You Hear My Footsteps