What You So Mad At Now?

March 24, 2006

Last night's NCAA Tourney games were full of the kinds of nail-biting drama that make sports gamblers find religion. PATHOS!

The caucasian sensations, Duke's JJ Redick and Gonzaga's Adam Morrison, both ended their college careers in a sea of tears. The Zags lost in a heartbreaker-shot to the UCLA Bruins, and your boy AM hit the floor like he had been struck in the groin with sledgehammer, letting all his mustachioed emotions pour out his tear ducts. Dudes from UCLA actually had to pick his ass up off the ground. We thought this was a nice gesture on the part of the Bruins, but it was kind of foul for Morrison to take the wind out of their sails. Kind of like someone having an emotional meltdown at your birthday party. The song ain't called, "It's My Party, But Feel Free to Fall On The Floor And Cry Like A Divorced Mother Watching Steel Magnolias If You Want To." Note to Adam Morrison: STOP SALLY FIELDING!

JJ Redick also had some waterworks, although more along the lines of the Derek-Luke-during-the-halftime-speech-in-Friday-Night-Lights variety. Choke em back, Doggy! The reason why Redick wasn't being as much as a fall out boy as Morrison might have something to do with the fact THAT HE IS THE MIXTAPE ARTIST OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE! GET LOW, COACH K.!

More dramatic action goes down tonight (Nova vs. Boston College is finna be a knife fight) and all weekend as the tourney continues to give you a reason to not go outside. Someone's gonna get their feelings hurt, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Check for us amongst the empty gin bottles and torn up brackets at a sports bar near you.

Posted: March 24, 2006
What You So Mad At Now?