Attention Sour Patch Kids lovers - summer blockbuster season ramps up this Friday with the release of Mission: Impossible III. Admittedly we haven't really been hitting the cinema that much this year (Big Momma's House 2...pass, Silent Hill...pass), but every week we've been checking the "Focus Group" column on the Los Angeles Times website where a ragtag group of outsiders give their thoughts on the week's new releases. The main reason for our repeat visits? That would be the opinions and insights of GLC, the rapper on Kanye's Good Music label and AMERICA'S GREATEST LIVING COMEDIAN. Every week the Knockout Kang drops knowledge jewels that are not to be missed. The following weeks should provide ample LOL fodder with the release of flicks including Poseidon and Garfield's A Tale Of Two Kitties, but after the jump are some unmesswithable GLC classics from the archives.
ON BENCHWARMERS:
"Hell yeah, I will see that. That’s like a power move for nerds."
ON THE SENTINEL:
"I don’t know about this government. But I like Michael Douglas. He’s real smooth. He’s old school G. All the older white women in the supermarket are like, 'That Michael Douglas, he is so sensational.'"
ON HOOT:
"Oh man, are you serious? Let me tell you what those little kids are: they are the products of the 80's crack epidemic. Those kids are probably crackhead babies. For them to be in a movie trying to save a owl is like crack head influence. On the real. That's why kids are [messed] up. They don't have [stuff] to do so they be trying to save the owls. They need community centers and [stuff] like that. They crazy as hell. I feel like I'm being punk'd right now. Am I being punk'd?
ON THE WILD:
"Hmm…so this is like a mark-ass Lion King? Oh man, I’m not sure if I want to see the mark-ass Lion King. I haven’t seen a mark-ass lion since The Wiz. I don’t think the babes will like it. I think the movie is anti-babish, on the real."
ON INSIDE MAN:
"I smoke a lot of weed and I need mental stimulation. When you see movies like that you leave the theater thinking you are smart."
ON LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN:
"Hell yeah, I want to see Morgan Freeman as a gangster. And I love Lucy Liu. She is one of the chillest women in showbiz. Her eyes look like she’s high all the time. She looks like somebody I want to kick it with. And Bruce Willis did his thing in 16 Blocks. He came a long way since Moonlighting. Now he took it to the big screen. In Sin City as well, he did his thing. He should win an Oscar in doing your thing."
ON STAY ALIVE:
"I love video games, but that movie there, that will [mess] me up. I smoke a lot of weed so I'm paranoid. Some video games I wouldn't play because I'm scared of them. They always [mess] you up, like, Resident Evil and Condemned, the scary games that are already out there. I don't want to play any game where I might die for real, and I don't want to have anyone else do that either."
ON TAKE THE LEAD:
"Sorry Antonio, you let me down. I want you to be killing people with a guitar."
ON PHAT GIRLZ:
"Mo’Nique is a beautiful beautiful fat woman. People look at women like that like I’m not going to holler at her because she’s fat, but a lot of fat girls are cool, they have the best ideas, they know how to make creative snacks. You think there is no food in the house and then they bring out crackers and cheese and jelly on the side. They are like magicians. They know where the snacks are. I like that she is using her snack making abilities and growing and developing them into a fashion line."
ON AQUAMARINE:
"I loved Splash, and I've always been fascinated by aquatic life and women. Those are two things that arouse my interest. Like The Little Mermaid, that was one of the best movies ever made."