Listmania 2008! Part One

December 18, 2008

Yet again, The FADER and an assortment of family and friends present Listmania (the 2008 edition). Although we're always looking ahead, we're also about tradition. So like previous years, this edition of Listmania doesn't really have a best album or best singles list, but it does contain massive amounts of real talk. After the jump read part one, and come back tomorrow for part two.

Top Twelve Albums That We Thought Would Have A Bigger Impact On Our Lives

12. Gyptian, I Can Feel Your Pain

11. Secret Machines, self-titled

10. The Game, LAX

9. Wolf Parade, At Mount Zoomer

8. N.E.R.D., Seeing Sounds

7. Devin The Dude, Landing Gear

6. David Byrne & Brian Eno, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today

5. Re-Up Gang, Clipse Presents Re-Up Gang

4. Bloc Party, Intimacy

3. Jenny Lewis, Acid Tongue

2. Akon, Freedom

1. Usher, Here I Stand

Top Five Incorrect Guesses At Fake Blood's True Identity

5. Free Blood

4. Simon Lord from The Black Ghosts

3. Regal from The Wiseguys

2. Shock G

1. Blank Dogs

Top Five Band Names That Consist Primarily of Gender References

5. Man Man

4. She and Him

3. Men and Women

2. Women

1. Girls

Top Twelve Things That Are On Big Tuck And Fat Bastard

12. Red Monkey jeans

11. Bapes

10. That thang

9. Your dame

8. That ass

7. A rag

6. Peoples’ swag

5. Some change

4. Mean knuckle game

3. The chain

2. Prada frames

1. Not a damn stain

Top Three Things To Call Beyoncé's Eleven Song I Am…Sasha Fierce Other Than "A Double Album"

3. Proof of what we all knew: Beyoncé is mad boring and is only kind of interesting when she's pretending

2. An album with a side A and a side B needlessly spread over two CDs

1. Some bullshit, a decent Jim Jonsin track and "Single Ladies"

Top Eleven Tertiary Characters From The Wire We'll Miss The Most

11. Bill Zorzi, courthouse reporter

10. Old Face Andre, frontman for Marlo Stanfied's cornerstore stash house

9. Randall Frazier, medical examiner

8. Fat Face Rick, eastside drug kingpin

7. Rebecca Corbett, editor at The Baltimore Sun

6. Terrence "Fitz" Fitzhugh, FBI Agent

5. Kimmy, lesbian stick-up artist

4. Shamrock, Stringer Bell's second-in-command

3. Donut, preteen car thief

2. Shardene, stripper with glasses

1. Lamar, Brother Mouzone's assistant

Top Nine Versions Of MGMT's "Electric Feel"

9. Solange's live cover (as heard on YouTube)

8. Katy Perry's lounge cover

7. Remix f. Jim Jones

6. Aeroplane remix

5. Electric Feel My Shit edit by Leif

4. Justice remix

3. Prince Language remix

2. As performed by The Rock-Fire Explosion

1. The original version on Oracular Spectacular

Top Two Different Dances That Are Actually The Same Dance

2. V.I.C.'s "Get Silly" dance.

1. Busta Rhymes' "Arab Money" dance.

Former FADER EIC Alex Wagner's Top Five Songs Of 2008 Now That She Doesn't Have to Pretend to Like Weird Music Anymore

5. Jay-Z f. Santogold, "Brooklyn Go Hard"

4. Beyoncé, "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"

3. Kanye West, "Love Lockdown"

2. The Killers, "Human"

1. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida"

Top Twenty-Five Things You Don’t Do, According to Lil Wayne On The Carter III

25. Fix ya lips unless you ‘bout to suck his dick

24. Jump your nest

23. Ever get too comfortable

22. Shoot him down

21. Ask him shit unless it concern a price

20. Listen to a lady

19. Get scared

18. Let it smear

17. Know how to prove it

16. Let the devil in

15. Play, pussy

14. Be dumb

13. Let him be misunderstood

12. Understand him

11. Do this

10. Let Mrs. Carter grieve

9. Wake him cause he’s sleeping

8. Ask him what’s wrong

7. Clash with the titan

6. Play in her garden

5. Smell her flower

4. Forget Weezy

3. Get him wrong, he could do that pussy right

2. Believe in him

1. Trip if he lights one

Top Ten Things Lil Wayne Doesn’t Do, According to Lil Wayne On The Carter III

10. Owe you, like two vowels

9. Rap, he films movies

8. Fantasize

7. Have to get his tooth fixed

6. Write shit, cuz he ain't got time

5. Have the answer

4. Wanna finish

3. Know what you are on

2. Give a fuck if you see him

1. Care

Top Fifty Things Lil Wayne Is, According To Lil Wayne on The Carter III

50. Just a soul whose intentions are good

49. A bastard

48. A venereal disease, like a menstrual bleed

47. A missle

46. Okay, but his is watch sick

45. Hotter than the Sunday after Saturday

44. Not finished

43. A young money millionaire

42. Hotter than summer rain

41. Back again

40. A Martian

39. An alien

38. Out of this world, hoe

37. Peepin at you people different

36. The bomb, like tick tick

35. A savage like Noah, Ben, and Randy

34. Richer than Nicole

33. Swimming in bucks

32. So far from the othars, I meant others

31. A beast

30. A dog

29. A motherfuckin problem

28. On it

27. Better. If not now, then never

26. Hyper

25. So on it

24. Greedy

23. Cool, like LA nights

22. Amazing

21. Still on that street shit

20. The real deal, no pickle

19. So aware

18. A lion

17. Married to that crazy bitch, call him Kevin Federline

16. Rare like Mr. Clean with hair
14. Like a turtle, when he sips the purple

13. Healed

12. Agriculture

11. A monster

10. So fly he needs his ass kicked

9. All about weed

8. Starving

7. Screwed up

6. A motherfuckin cajun

5. Drinking hot tea

4. Him times three

3. A damn tarantula

2. Ill

1. Nothing like you

Top Seven Ways We Wore 2008

7. Onesies—Floorlength jumpers by Fremont for day, cheeky Samantha
Pleet rompers by night

6. Dekay Ray necklaces

5. Trousers—yes we all wear the pants around here

4. Samoflauge—plaid, plaid, plaid

3. Vintage Surf—anything by Maui & Sons

2. Band tees. No Age and Studio shirts in every color, but mostly white

1. Suits, preferably by Shipley and Halmos

Top Five Fashiony Things To Keep An Eye On In 2009

5. Contributing FADER style editor Mobolaji Dawodu relaunching his
self-titled line of clothing

4. MIA's baby

3. Roisin Murphy hitting the Paris runway for couturist Alexandre Vauthier

2. Kanye's debut collection for Pastelle. Will the clothes match the
shoes he is designing for Louis? Which fashion house will he end up
interning with?

1. Jeremy Scott for Adidas

Top Weirdest Thing We Saw At A Dr. Dog Show In 2008

1. Some guy in the balcony at Webster Hall making it rain onto the audience below, laughing with his friends and then freaking out about how he was going to get the money back.

Top Eight Things Designer Samantha Pleet Bought In 2008

8. Truffle Salt. My friend Eviana brought this back for me from her trip to San Francisco. It’s so pungent that everything in her suitcase smelled like truffles for months. It’s like powdered gold and makes everything taste better. I also recommend the Sottocenere truffle cheese from the Bedford Cheese shop if you’re into the stuff.

7. Natural crystal sets. These make great gifts and include fifty different crystals, which is a great deal for thirty-five dollars or so. You can get them at Crystallarium on Melrose in LA.

6. Giant handknit wool mushroom pillows from Kenya. I got these at The Golden Calf in Williamsburg. They’re so big you can sit on them, and if you play catch with them you feel like you’re in Super Mario Brothers, which is kind of how I feel most of the time anyway.

5. Venetian carnival hats by Atelier Pietro Longhi. I especially love the Robin Hood version. It came in handy when Patrick needed a last minute Halloween costume. I sewed a wool medieval elf suit for him to wear with it.

4. Twin Peaks season 1 and 2. I just got them last week and I’m hooked again. We don’t have a TV so we’re watching it on a projector screen which makes it even more spooky. If you’ve never seen it, I feel sorry for you.

3. Plane tickets to Berlin, Sicily, and Paris, and LA. Between traveling in Europe this summer, shopping for inspiration as a pick-me-up after the chaos of my show in September, and opening my pop-up store at Space 1520 on Cahuenga (I lived at The Standard for almost a month a la Eloise!), it’s been a busy year, to say the least.

2. A Ligne Roset Togo couch for my new apartment that I am still waiting for. It’s going to be teal felt and so squishy that I may never go out again once it arrives.

1. Obama nesting dolls. I collect political babushkas. Actually, we’re all discussing it at the studio right now—what are they actually called? Anyway, I have the leaders of the Middle East and Russia and some non-political ones, like the Beatles, so how could I resist? I stocked these in my pop-up shop in LA.

Top Five Email Subject Lines We Received From World Star Hip-Hop Between June 20th and November 7th

5. [AUDIO] Maino Confirms He Slapped Yung Berg At ATL Club!

4. [EXCLUSIVE AUDIO] Game – Taped Convo (Attacking G-Unit For Releasing Private Phone Call)[ Defending Young Buck]

3. Jay-Z Full 38 Min Performance @ Glastonbury 2008 (Proving All The Critics & Oasis That Hip Hop Can Rock Out)[Making History!]

2. [VIDEO] Psycho Mother Makes Her 5-Year-Old Daughter Say “F*ck Obama”! Plus Says “Barack Obama Is Not My President. Hes Not Even Black. He’s The Antichrist”

1. [VIDEO] Young Berg Disses/Responds To Ne-Yo! (Says His Girl Is Calling Him, Calls Him A Turtle & Gay)

Top Five Forgotten Firefox Bookmarks

5. Nedolspektor MySpace: bizarre but surprisingly jamming music by a thirteen-year-old girl from Oslo, Norway

4. Undownloable mix from Morgan Geist of Metro Area

3. Stricken City MySpace: catchy British post-punk guitar janglers that we forgot about since July

2. "Extreme street football in Mexico"...aborted story idea

1. Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend's college blog

FADER Editor Pete Macia's Top Four Face To Face Concerts Of 2008

4. Tough Alliance at the pretty much empty Beauty Bar in Austin, Texas, March 16th

3. Toumani Diabaté in his hotel room in New York City, February 5th

2. Kanye West in the leisure area of his house, Los Angeles, October 4th

1. Pancho and little kids, courtyard in Accra, Ghana, January 9th

Posted: December 18, 2008
Listmania 2008! Part One