Said her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in her 2008 Christmas speech to her nation: "Over the years those who have seemed to me to be the most happy, contented and fulfilled have always been the people who have lived the most outgoing and unselfish lives; the kind of people who are generous with their talents or their time."
Yes, that's right, here I am, back once again unselfishly giving my time and exuding my talent (musical knowledge) for you eager beavers.
OK, enough chit-chat – let's, as they say, keep it movin'.
Let's start by very briefly looking at the above recent grime video by Ghetto (who seems to have semi-changed his name to Ghetts) and Griminal. Although it appears to be a half-finished idea – both in terms of the song (how many times is the chorus and that line at the end repeated!?) and the video (what the hell is that Fonejacker-esque intro all about?) – I still really like it.
Ghetto (sorry "Ghetts") has also recently made a video for an electro remix of his track "Sing For Me", after said song was signed to All Around The World (the label that put out T2's "Heartbroken"). This has got lots of grime fans excited about another chart invasion but, I'm sorry to break the bad news, I think the time for electro-grime Top 10 hits has long since passed. Decent tune though.
Another UK track that has been signed (for something ridiculous like £100,000) is K.I.G.'s "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes". People have been falling over themselves to plant the flag in this and post it up on their blogs but I'm yet to be convinced it will be as big a chart hit over here as everyone thinks. Regardless, I do look forward to hoards of people doing Teletubbies-esque dance moves to nursery rhyme lyrics when this comes on in clubs.
Sometimes, when I listen to funky I do find myself wondering whether I'm being duped and these producers are just rehashing classic house tracks and selling them back to philistines like myself. For example, when I heard a new Crazy Cousinz track, "Inflation", I was initially blown away by the hypnotic xylophone riff, until my friend Jack pointed out that it sounded like a massive, erm, "tribute" to Afefe Iku's "Mirror Dance".
D Malice is also known for his sampling of well-known house tracks. His biggest tune, "Gabryelle Refix" is, as the name suggests, a reworking of "Gabryelle" by DJ Spen presents DJ Technics.
I don't know why I'm complaining though. These stripped down, more bass-heavy versions are, in my opinion, far superior to the tracks they take influence from.
OK, I'm feeling just about happy, contented and fulfilled enough to leave you for another week. Before I go, check out this recent mix by Jackmaster (who runs the Dress 2 Sweat label up in Glasgow).
Download: Jackmaster mix
Lil Silva - Funky Flex
Apple - Siegalizer
Roska - Our Father
Donaeo - African Warrior
Roska - Elevated Levels
Paleface & Kyla - Do You Mind (Crazy Cousinz remix)
Roska - Tack Tiles
Lil Silva - Seasons
D Malice - Gabryelle Refix
Kode 9 & LD - Bad
Martyn - Vancouver
Skream - If You Know
Zomby - Rumours & Revolutions
Perempay & Dee - Buss It