For our blog Sweaty Hands, Nathan Williams aka Wavves reviews the latest video games for PS3, XBOX360 and whatever other consoles exist and are playable. But while he’s on tour for basically infinity, game fanatic Katy Goodman of Vivian Girls is taking the helm. In this installment, she reviews popular BlackBerry timewaster/livesaver/NYC subway staple Brickbreaker.
As I have been on tour for the past few weeks, I have not had access to my wonderful Xbox, leaving me with only one option for entertainment: cell phone games. When I bought my new fancy BlackBerry phone, made for smart people by smarter people, I was expecting it to come filled with a variety of mentally engaging, yet highly entertaining games. What I got was BrickBreaker, a simple Breakout-style game in the same vein as Pong. You move a paddle on the bottom of the screen that bounces the ball towards the top of the screen, and you chip away at the bricks that float around in the sky. The catch? You can NOT let that little ball fall to the side of your paddle, or else you will lose a life, and the ball will forever fall into the endless video game void of nothingness.
Other than that existential catch, BrickBreaker seems to lack any sort of depth, and after playing the game incessantly for over a year, I would have to stick with that assessment. It is one-dimensional, easy to play and even easier to get bored of—like men, am I right? The only time I actually play the game anymore outside of touring is when I’m on the subway. So do millions of other New Yorkers, which is unfortunate because on the subway is the WORST time to play: as you travel quickly underground, gaining and losing cell reception, the game tends to freeze a lot. It always fucks up right when the little ball is about to hit your paddle, then it jumps a bit to the side and falls down into the nothingness. Oh, and the best part of it all is that when you win the game, you just start over at the beginning. At least when you beat Solitaire you don’t have to think about how it is a metaphor for your life.
All in all, I would say that BrickBreaker is not as good as Modern Warfare 2. Hey BlackBerry, call me when I can play Call of Duty on the subway, thanks.