The New York Times' excellent review of the Biebz show at Madison Square Garden was quite thorough in its critique, but strangely mum about his stage moves. The only direct mention of his choreography was in the line Singing and dancing? Less impressive. However, being more interested in Bieber's silken locks and scrumptious (cough) um, pop hits, we didn't really notice the lack of dancefloor analysis until we saw this clip of Shaq having a battle with Little Biebzo on his ABC show, Shaq vs. Shaq. Perhaps the Times didn't make note of Biebz's footwork because he LOSES A DANCEOFF TO A 40-YEAR-OLD, AWKWARDLY SHAPED BASKETBALL STAR... WHO IS WEARING JAMS! Of course we are adjusting the outcome on a curve, taking into consideration Bieber's professional training and youth, and Shaq's bulk and ability to unironically say the words, "You're messing with the wrong b-boy." (Actually that's our favorite part.) Sure, Bieber has some slick floor slides that make him look like he is floating on water, but then Shaq does the "look like you're being electrocuted" move from the 1980s pop-lock oeuvre! Love you for life, Biebz, but Shaq is right... he won this one. Next time we wanna see Shaq vs. Leyomi, let her show him what's really good. "I never knew he could like, freestyle with all of his stuff."