Yeah, I think I’m done.
No no, you’re not getting off that easy. Just a couple more questions—just the basics. Let me do what I came here to do, you know—plug my product, move some units, get that money and reinvest it in the next movie. Come on.

All right, tell me about your new album.
I’m really glad you asked me that. My new album is called Ivory Tower. It’s produced by Boys Noize, who I think will be familiar to readers of The FADER as a hipster DJ/producer-par-excellence living in Berlin, my old hometown. The album is mostly instrumental and most of it is used in a feature-length movie also called Ivory Tower, which stars Peaches and Tiga and myself. And I wrote the movie. We took a lot of liberties. We don’t really know how to make movies, so you have to be forgiving when you watch my movie, but when you listen to my album, you’re hopefully consuming a solid product very professionally-made from two musicians at the top of their game in 2010: Chilly Gonzales and Boys Noize. Chocolate and peanut butter, like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. You really hear the Gonzales parts, you really hear the Boys Noize parts. It just tastes good together.

I really want to eat your film now.
Absolutely.

When does it come out?
Well it’s being shown here tonight. Does that count as coming out? What I want to know is, because I get asked this question a lot—people are coming here tonight, and they’re going to pay money, and we’re going to take that money. And in exchange for that money we’re going to sit them in a room in which there is a movie projector behind them and it will project the movie Ivory Tower. They can’t ask for their money back, so we’ve made that money for good, and they are free to say whether they like it or not. Now, does that count as the movie coming out?

No, I really don’t think so.
Jesus. You’re a muckraker. You’re like an uppity journalist. These are gotcha questions. This is like what they do to Sarah Palin. You know, they just they go in and they get her. This is media denigration and this is done. I’m sorry. The movie came out, ok?

[Chilly Gonzales leaves interview.]