Shopped and Scrooged #9: A Cat



Join us as we count down to Winter Gift Day (December 25) with our picks for the best presents to bestow on friends and family and that dude you have to buy something for in the office.

What it is. A cat.

What is it? The modern cat is now believed to have been first domesticated in Cyprus around 9500 years ago and has since evolved into the least enthused creature on planet Earth. It has trained people to not need any affection from it and to put a tray of absorbent material INSIDE THE HOUSE so that it may defecate in comfort. It scratches any surface it touches, including (some might say preferably) human skin, and is a finicky eater. Many people are allergic to its coat to the point of complete, miserable exhaustion. And yet, no other animal is as fun to look at or put under a faucet, and when they decide to be awesome, they are awesome on a level that few other beings even think of, let alone attempt, eg this, this, this, this, this, this or this.

UPDATE: And this.

Who do you give it to? Friends, enemies, strangers. Anyone.

How much is it? Nothing or thousands of dollars. Up to you.

Where to get it. Start at the ASPCA (or your local trash alley) and go from there.

Shopped and Scrooged #9: A Cat