Before we saw Blue Valentine last week we thought it might be dangerous territory to tread in. Real critics and our buddies said it was ‘too-real,” exposing the graphic high of (good!) male-on-female head and the (awful!) time when we realize we are not in love anymore, no matter how devoted to the idea. After seeing the film, we’re happy to report no damage. Just because that couple didn’t work out doesn’t mean there’s no such thing as a good relationships or real love. No one has to get off on criticizing themselves or their partners for not meeting their expectations! There’s a moment early in the movie when Michelle Williams’ character Cindy is talking to her grandma—the older woman says she’s not sure that she’s ever been in love but advises her granddaughter to be forward, let herself do whatever and feel the feelings that come-with, then learn how to trust herself to know what to do with them. In Blue Valentine a lot of characters open themselves up, invest in each other and make themselves vulnerable to new pleasures and pains. Cool! But they struggle to articulate how those experiences affect them and find the confidence to address the changes. Ryan Gosling’s Dean is transparent and honest; he lets his wife know that he is fulfilled by being a part of their family, doesn’t want a better job or a different life and will do anything she asks to make her happy. But this is an arrangement that makes her uncomfortable and one she can’t accept. We don’t blame her at all, it seems an unfair request to dictate a happiness you can’t control, to be responsible for failing it eventually. Cindy has a tough enough time knowing her own limits, is in a lot of pain because she’s been scared of being alone and unwilling to entrust herself with her own well being. What a shame!
We love people, want to live our whole lives with them and have strong and long relationships. But we’re becoming certain that it’s not helpful to think things should or will be any particular way for forever. Believing that doesn’t make it any easier to listen to Cindy’s grandma, though. It’s really hard to let yourself try things out, to know with certainty how you feel about those things or what the fuck you should do. We’re aging and thinking about it purposefully and that’s about all we can do. Meanwhile, there’s a self-described Native American bi-sexual girl called Angel Haze in California. She’s got a massive crush on both Tupac and Andrea Gibson and she’s already the master of not giving a fuck and telling her gospel. Talking about broken love on her YouTube channel, she advises that if it’s not working out with your lover and you are feeling burned by them you should probably just feel set free and take some pride in that. If we didn’t say so, she’s also a pretty sick rapper, has two mixtapes (one is Twilight themed!) of practice behind her. Below, hear her have fun on “6 Foot 7 Foot” and download her tapes. Then read her bright-lavender tweets on modern love, marriage, queerness and baby-having in a Lil B and Nicki Minaj kind of world, after the jump.
Download: Angel Haze, “6 Foot 7 Foot”