As you probably heard, last night's Oscars was a shame on Gen Y. Anne Hathaway and James Franco failed to live up to their teasers (hate to say, told you so, but told you so!), and a whole cast of Hollywood A-listers helped to add insult to injury. Let's reflect on some of the lowlights of the evening, shall we?
Getting Viewers to Auto-tune In
Because Anne Hathaway's seasoned, years-of-community-theater vox couldn't carry the live performance, the duo relied heavily on pre-packaged material, you know, to appeal to the youths. And there's nothing the youth of today loves more than Auto-tuned tracks and vocoders! Sadly, this prerecorded fare was what held up best (and I use that superlative generously) at the show. Let theremixing begin.
Oscars 83: Party in the Back, Shit-show in the Front?
Perhaps part of the reason why Franco performed so badly last night was due to the fact that he was very busy working on his "art" backstage.
Then again, he might've just been stoned:
Will we soon be referring to Gwyneth Paltrow exculsively by her surname? Unlikely. But we will certainly remember her being grossly miscast in Country Strong forevermore. Sissy Spacek she is not. Sadly, it looks like we have more f. Gwyneth Paltrow to look forward to.
And what did James Franco think of Paltrow's performance?
PS 22 tried to save things in the end, but sadly instead of performing Ariel Pink, they opted to go for all colors of the rainbow.
If Melissa Leo's f-bomb is a highlight of Oscar 83, we can pretty much safely say it bombed.