The Uncensored Version of Slim Thug’s New York Times Story About Sleeping With His Realtor

Don’t mix business with pleasure—no matter how good her biscuits is!”

Houston rapper Slim Thug is in the pages of the New York Times today, sharing a bit of hard-earned personal finance advice and the intimate instance through which he gleaned it. His story in short: he hired a relator to help him flip his five-bedroom home for one closer to downtown, ended up sleeping with her, and then his home was foreclosed upon. "Who would have known that sex would lead to losing money? Obviously, I didn't," he writes in the Paper of Record. "It's 2015, and my credit still isn't the same. Neither is my net worth, but the lesson I learned is certainly priceless."

And as it turns out, there is a little more to the story. Below, uncensored and slightly more salacious version in Slim Thug's own words.

Check me out in the New York Times in the your money section #BOSSLIFE
A photo posted by Slim Thug (@hogglife101) on

Congratulations on your first New York Times byline! Honestly, I didn't understand how big a deal it was until people started calling my phone. I know what the New York Times is, but I'm not a regular reader [laughs].

Why do you think they asked you to write this story? Really they were basing it off the different things I go by to save money and keep money in my book How to Survive in a Recession, so that's what it was kind of based off of. They said they wanted to talk about ten tips I had, but they wanted to also know what was the biggest financial lesson I have ever learned.

Were you at all apprehensive about sharing such a personal story? Anybody that knows me, they know I am always going to tell the truth. Everybody don't have to touch the frier to learn a lesson, some people can read other people's stories and learn from it. I'm really ashamed of nothing in my life, because I'm still successful in my ways of doing what I do. Coming from a family who never had nothing and you just got to learn everything yourself, you don't have anyone to instill it in you—you got to learn your on lessons on the way to the top, and this is just one of the bumps that I had to hit in the road.

Did your relationship with the realtor last? Not at all. I only slept with her and her daughter once.

Her daughter?! They didn't write that in the New York Times? Honestly I haven't even read the story yet.

What else was left out of the Times story? This was the situation, just so y'all know the whole story of how it went. I met this lady and she found me a house and it just so happened that the house was just down the street from her house. So, we kicked it a couple of times and we ended up messing around once. After that, her daughter used to always come to my house—like, constantly. I'm a rapper, so her daughter might have had a crush on me or whatever. I had to tell her, like, "Keep your daughter from coming over. She be showing up in the morning, I'm in a robe, and she's making these biscuits that are so good." The best biscuits that I've had to this day! I'm trying to avoid it, but eventually something happened.

But the real issue was this: at the time there was a short-sale thing going on—this was around when the housing market crashed—and I was trying to short-sell my house. She told me, don't pay your rent for a couple of months so it will look like you can't afford it and then you can get in that program. But what she ended up doing was letting it go further than it was supposed to go, and they foreclosed on the home. It was only $16,000 I had to pay, and I could have paid that off. It was no issue in paying it, I was just trying to get out of the home because it was so far up north and I was trying to buy something downtown. She said she was trying to help me get out of the house, but now I'm putting it together that either she found out about her daughter and got upset about that or she was just trying to be slick and let the house go into foreclosure so she can get it at a cheaper price and then sell it to someone else.

What do you hope people get out of your story? There are two lessons. Don't try to do nothing slick, to come up or get out of paying for things. And two, don't mix business with pleasure—no matter how good her biscuits is! I'm still trying to recover from that, it's hard for me to buy stuff with my name because of that. My whole life my credit was good, I always paid stuff off early, owned a few cribs, and everything was good, but that hurt me.

Lead photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty

The Uncensored Version of Slim Thug’s New York Times Story About Sleeping With His Realtor