8 U.K. Artists On What They’d Do If Made Prime Minister Tomorrow

Legal weed for everyone. 🇬🇧

April 14, 2016

British prime minister David Cameron has had a hell of a week. His woes began in early April, when he was implicated in the Panama Papers tax avoidance scandal (following the leak of 11 million files from offshore law giant Mossack Fonseca). After initially refusing to comment on his personal finances, a red-faced Cameron admitted on Thursday, April 10, to owning a profitable stake in tax-free offshore trusts set up by his father, who also left him a £300,000 inheritance. Cameron has been vocal against tax avoidance in the past—labeling British comedian Jimmy Carr "morally wrong" in 2012 for investing in similar schemes—so this revelation has left him looking like a pure hypocrite.

Now, the pressure is mounting for him to follow in the footsteps of Iceland's leader, who relinquished power on April 5 after being caught up in the very same scandal. Petitions for Cameron's departure have gained over 100,000 signatures, #ResignCameron was recently the U.K.’s top trending topic on Twitter, and Lily Allen and Stormzy are not impressed with him. Cameron's detractors have made it clear: they want him out. Enough time has passed that it seems unlikely the PM will actually step down—he’s weathered scandals before—but the betting odds of his resignation are still surprisingly decent. Which led us to wonder: what if this whole thing really could be decided online? The FADER reached out to 8 young British artists to ask what their priorities would be if they were running the country. Their manifestos pretty much all included legalizing weed, along with some other searingly well-made points.

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1. Fekky—Rapper, London

When a picture speaks louder than words ⭐️ Keep a distance then u can see who's wid u 💯⭐️🎬🔋

A photo posted by Fekky (@fekkyofficial) on

If I were prime minister… I’d make the rich and poor switch places every month. I’d get rid of ticket inspectors for public transport, they’re robbing people. I’d make it compulsory for national radio to play 50% British urban music!

2. Connie Constance—Singer-songwriter, London

Check out my new single ANSWER, link in bio ❤️🇬🇧💋 / photo by @sabbadams

A photo posted by Your Girl Connie Power (@itsconniesworld) on

If I were prime minister… There would be no House of Lords. Each community would elect their own spokesperson. There would be a ban on buying houses then leaving them empty, idiots hiding money abroad, and whoever lets awful music get played on the radio. Water would be free and everyone would receive a home at 18.

I don't smoke weed, but I have friends from all industries that do to help them relax, think more creatively or just escape. We’d get the most pure and natural weed for the people. Also, [treatment for] addiction, mental health, abortions, tampons, and sexual health would be available on the NHS [National Health Service]. Schools would do meditation in the mornings, and teach the true history of Africa.

“Schools would do meditation in the mornings, and teach the true history of Africa.”—Connie Constance
3. Rat Boy—Singer-songwriter, Chelmsford

A photo posted by SCUM (@ratboyratboy) on

If I were prime minister… Man, I’d have weed legalized. It’s just a plant and even clever people with good jobs have smoked it more than once. There’d be no more bad people and bad weather, chairs would be banned, and the Mario Bros theme tune would play everywhere. Schools would have more art and music lessons, skateboarding would be added to the national curriculum, and the NHS would cover anything people actually need.

4. Yungen—Rapper, London

A photo posted by Yungen (@foreveryungs) on

If I were prime minister... I would put in recreational facilities such as mini football pitches in every council estate in the most deprived areas in the U.K. The kids need access to more engaging things growing up in concrete jungles. I'd also implement equal pay for both men and women. Why should women be paid any less? We need them!

5. Madam X—DJ, Manchester

If I were prime minister… [Comedian] Noel Fielding, Liam Gallagher and [Manchester rapper] Skittles would be present for my Oath of Allegiance; back rubs would be made free on the NHS, and Segways would be legalized. Every elevator in the land would play Roman GianArthur's "I-69,” [tabloid] Daily Mail would be banished, and the whole country would be rechristened Manchester.

“How can the prime minister be doing the same thing that he’s passing legislations against? I’d make it so that if any member of parliament was found to be doing the same, they’d lose their seat. Serve the public or leave it, innit.”—Jammz
6. Jammz—MC, London

Respect the shooter 📷 @vixkygrout

A photo posted by 3.0 (@jammzthemyth) on

If I were prime minister... I'd definitely make sure that some kind of legislation was introduced which meant that all members of parliament had to publish their tax returns. Seems like a bit of an extra thing to say, but there's no trust in the government. How can the prime minister be doing the same thing that he's passing legislations against? I'd make it so that if any member of parliament was found to be doing the same, they'd lose their seat. Serve the public or leave it, innit. Oh yeah, and I'd tell Jimmy Iovine to make grime a category on iTunes. Obviously.

7. Mez—MC, Nottingham

The Face When You Realise You Don't Like Anyone.

A photo posted by Mez (@unclemez) on

If I were prime minister… I'd take away the currency in England. People dem fi trade and barter. Next thing I'd do is make Merky Ace, Capo Lee, and Nico Lindsay's “Houseman” the national anthem. I'd make sure grime raves could never get locked off [shut down by police]—and everybody wants weed to be legal, so I'd give the people what they want.

8. Spooky—DJ/Producer, London

#SpartanDab 😂 | 📷: @vickygrout 💜

A photo posted by Spooky Bizzle (@spookybizzle) on

If I were prime minister… David Cameron, all Tories, paedos, and rapists too would be banished to the Bermuda Triangle. Schools would add black history to their curriculums, and dental care would be made free on the NHS. You just have to watch [U.K. talk show] Jeremy Kyle to see how bad some sets of teeth can get. [SBTV founder] Jamal Edwards, [TV personalities] Ian Wright, Jeremy Kyle, and Idris Elba would be in my cabinet. I'd bring in Big Narstie and Lordie too. I'd have weed legalized, and Britain would be known as Spookland.

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8 U.K. Artists On What They’d Do If Made Prime Minister Tomorrow