Author, podcaster, and poet Alex Elle shares guiding gems about love, self-awareness, and growth.
Before looking for a partner, love yourself more than anything
“A lot of us look for approval from outsiders, versus taking a step back and looking at who we are without those influences. When I was single I would write love letters to myself, and those would look like me being kind to myself, me being open and honest with the journey I was on at the time. That really helped put things in perspective for me, and it also helped me get to know myself. When I did connect with my husband, [I] wasn’t so much longing for the love and attention because I had built that on my own.”
A lasting romance often starts with a strong friendship
“I’d done a year off of dating and being physical with men. So I knew that my next relationship, I wanted to foster us being friends. I slid in my husband’s DM's a couple of times on Twitter.
I was in the D.C. metro area and when we first met he was in L.A. I was used to meeting people who were close by and he wasn’t, so it forced us to build a friendship with each other.
“The first six months of our relationship, we were FaceTiming, texting, and we didn’t meet until the end of that. But the moment we met, he picked me up from LAX airport and it was a wrap. It was like, ‘He could be the one,’ but there really was no pressure and it felt like we’d known each other for years.”
Don’t be afraid to leave your comfort zone
“I always encourage people to give long distance a shot because you have a chance to miss your partner and you’ll be in it for the long haul.”
Step away from the internet
“We’re so used to being on social media and taking pictures of every- thing and digitally logging things. I encourage people to document their summer with pen and paper. Things like list-making can be a form of meditation, and it can tap into your self-care and what you’re looking for in the long haul. It holds us accountable.”
Trust that the universe has a special love just for you
“Setting intentions and being what you want to attract can be very helpful. But I will say that people shouldn’t overexert themselves looking for love because the right thing is going to come along and what’s meant for them is going to be theirs.”