It's been on the cards for a while but I have finally lost my mind. This week, the song which will open my column is an undeniably cheesy, slightly ridiculous funky house track vocalled by a former Big Brother contestant. Above you can see a clip of the song being quite hilariously satirised by the rather amusing Harry Hill on his show, TV Burp. Yet there is something about it which has me hooked. Something which goes beyond the obvious novelty factor of it. By the time you read this, an email from FADER's online editor will be flying towards me across the interweb informing me my contract has been terminated owing to "irrevocable differences". Nevertheless, have a listen to the song in question, made by Crazy Cousins (AKA bassline producer Paleface, former grime producer Flukes, and two other guys called Play and Kofi), below.
Crazy Cousins, "Bongo Jam"
See above for Skepta (alongside Jammer and others) proving that he knows more bad dance moves other than those in the Rolex Sweep, while dancing along to "Bongo Jam". Skepta loves the song so much he's done a remix, which I will put up here as soon as I get hold of a copy.
If you thought nothing could surpass "Bongo Jam", you are wrong. The Cousins have an even better song called "Do You Mind", which will be out over the summer on Ministry.
Out even sooner on Ministry is bassline favourite "You Wot" by DJ Q & MC Bonez. Such is the lack of quality in UK urban music videos, this one is considered really good. Something of a masterpiece, even.
Over the past month, I've been telling you about the exploits of Dizzee Rascal and his interesting choice of collaborators. Well he's taken one step nearer the manure pile with his latest musical venture: he's working with Fatboy Slim. The result is a song also featuring David Byrne called "Toe Jam", which can be seen in the above video.
It seems Dizzee has completely given up trying to hang on to his integrity. I wouldn't be surprised if the video for his next single involved three and a half minutes of a close-up shot of him pulling down his trousers and underpants and slowly spreading his bum cheeks and then closing them. In fact, at the rate he's going, this time next year he'll probably have had a sex change and be strutting around in a girl group with Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Agyness Deyn.
I like everything about "Toe Jam" though. As I said at the start, I have lost my mind.